Mega Sleepover: Girls vs Boys
by shegal92
Summary: Shego is in the midst of planning the perfect sleepover. Drakken ponders why boys can't have sleepovers and decides to break the gender border. When he and Shego have theirs on the same night, it is sure to end up in chaos. R&R.
1. Phone calls and an idea

Well, everyone really loved "Sleepover" (the ones that have read it anyway) so I've decided to write a story similar to that. I've already said the summary, so let's get this party started!

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Mega Sleepover: Girls vs. Boys

By shegal92

Shego retreated into her bedroom. It was time to make the calls. She picked up the phone and started dialing. Two and a half rings and then a familiar voice was heard.

"Hello?" A young girl's voice asked on the other side.

"Still coming, Jane?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Great! See you tomorrow!" Shego hung up. One down, several more to go. She dialed the next number on her list. She prayed she wouldn't get the wrong girl. One and a half rings later…

"Hey, Shego! I'm definitely coming." Shego growled. Stupid caller ID.

"Carrying any extra baggage, Artemis?" Shego's foot bobbed up and down as she twisted a long lock of raven hair.

"She doesn't know about a thing." She swore she heard the other girl smiling.

"See you tomorrow!" Shego hung up. She looked at the next number. If she got this one wrong, she'd be humiliated. 678-9005, she was positive this was the right one.

"Joe's Chicken Palace, we're making chicken your way. How many I help you?" A man in his forty's answered.

"Knock it off, Mischief." Please, please let it be her.

"Why do you always have to spoil my fun?" The voice changed to Dr. Drakken's. Yes, it was her.

"Still gonna show up?"

"I intend to, ma'am. Is that varmint gonna show up?" Her voice changed to one you might here in an old western film.

"No, we took care of that. See you later." Shego hung up again. She was always nervous calling Mischief. At least this time she had been reasonably straight-forward. Not like last time. Shego dialed yet another number. Four rings this time and just as the answering machine was about to take it…

"Is this Metaphor's boyfriend?" A younger girl asked. Shego shivered, but then rethought her answer.

"No, it's her girlfriend. Can I please speak with her?" Shego heard frantic running in the background.

"Wow, I never knew…Hey!"

"Give it to me, you little weasel!" An older girl hissed.

"Hello?" The older girl's voice was calm.

"Having troubles with Simile?" Shego snickered.

"Shut up!"

"So, can you make it?" Metaphor sighed.

"Can't." Shego arched a brow.

"Why not?"

"Somebody's got to keep Tigress preoccupied so she won't go snooping into other people's business. And there's Simile, who's chased away all the babysitters in the Black Market…"

"Oooh, can I go to whatever your girlfriend's talking about?"

"No!"

"Pleeeeease?" Simile begged.

"Listen I've got to go." Metaphor struggled with the whining pest.

"No sweat. We'll miss you." Shego hung up.

"Oh well. In order for catastrophes to be avoided, sacrifices must be made." She thought over the last sleepover and mentally hurled. That was bad, a disaster! Well, at least she wasn't hosting that one. This one had to be perfect. Shego dialed the last number, not noticing someone was peeking behind the corner. Three rings and a voice she didn't want nor expect came on.

"Hello?" A man's voice squeaked. Shego's eyes widened.

"Um, wrong number!" She shouted, slamming the phone down. She heard a chuckle behind her and wheeled around.

"Drakken, what are you doing spying on me?" Now that his cover was blown, the mad scientist stood in the doorway.

"Who did you get?" Shego hung her head.

"Avarius." She mumbled. Drakken's smile didn't last long.

"Shego, come walk with me. I need you to help me see something more clearly." Shego groaned.

"Listen, if this is the whole "Am I evil?" thing, I think I'll pass." She stood up anyway.

"No, it's not that at all." She slowly walked to his side.

"Fine, but if War Hawk calls while we're "walking"…"

"She didn't even know you called." They began walking aimlessly around the lair.

"Shego, you've been obsessing over this whole sleepover thing a lot lately."

"Doy, its tomorrow night. And since I'll be hosting, everything has to be perfect. Are you going to turn this into a lecture about how I need to get my priorities straight?"

"No, I'm just wondering why you are stressing over this." Shego rolled her eyes.

"Because it's a reflection on what kind of person I am. If I throw a drab party, then I'm drab. If I throw a terrific party, then that makes me a great villainess. And if you were a girl, you would get that." Shego rethought her words.

"Okay, that really sounded teen-ish." Drakken grinned.

"And they're fun." He finished.

"Not all of them! You should have gone to this one back in 4th grade. That girl couldn't keep us entertained for five minutes. It was a wash-up."

"So it's also about entertainment?"

"Yes. Good sleepovers have pranks and games…" Shego paused.

"Where are you taking this?"

"Sorry, the entertainment was a detour. Back to the popularity, what about Tigress'? It didn't affect her popularity." Shego realized for the first time since the Super Toy plot, she couldn't read her boss' mind.

"Number One: Most villainess sleepovers have a victim. Why do you think Kim was invited, other than to trash my reputation? Number two: Everyone fears Tigress. She is well respected in the villain world. Number three: Until the end, she didn't let the hatred get in the way of the activities. I could go on with this, but I don't want to give fuel to the fire."

"Yes or no: The party was fun despite Tigress." Shego wanted to argue, but she knew there was no way to turn and go back to a safety zone. She almost preferred to have the "Am I evil" rant. At least she knew what was coming with that.

"Yes." She answered regretfully. Drakken nodded.

"I have come to my question with facts behind it." Shego could feel it. Drakken had somehow won.

"Girls have all the fun!" He whined. Shego stopped abruptly.

"What do you mean girls have more fun?" She had always thought guys had more fun with their sports and chips and their couch. She'd give anything to lounge in boxers without anyone caring!

"They get sleepovers filled with pranks and games! Why can't guys have sleepovers?" Shego knew she looked puzzled.

"Guys _can_ have sleepovers. Who says guys can't have sleepovers?"

"The Rules."

"I've never heard of a rule forbidding men to have sleepovers."

"It's unwritten. It's just not how things are done. Girls have sleepovers, guys do arcades."

"I always knew you were a racist, but not to this degree. Guys can do almost anything girls can do."

"You said "almost". That means excluding, as in excluding sleepovers." Drakken slumped on a couch and Shego realized they had walked all the way to the living room.

"If you're so bent on having a sleepover, then have one! Invite all your little villain friends and do guy stuff. Break the gender border if you see it that way!" Drakken perked up.

"That's a great idea, Shego! You're brilliant!" He stood up and began pacing.

"Let's see, I have to plan immediately." Shego nodded, letting him rant. If it made him happy, let it be so.

"I'll have it this Friday!" Shego snapped out of her trance.

"That's tomorrow and that's when I'm having mine!" She cried.

"All the better. Let's see, I have to invite Killigan…"

"No, no, no. You don't understand. Tomorrow's **my** sleepover. And it's all girls! They'd totally freak if they knew that you were having one, too. I told them I'd get you out of the lair!" Shego started freaking. This had to be some terrible movie or story or something. This couldn't be happening.

"Well, obviously we'll be in separate rooms. We don't even have to have contact with one another. Oh, this is going to be wonderful. Oh, I'd hug you if you would fry me to a crisp." With that, Drakken ran off, eager to make arrangements.

"What kind of terror did I just unleash?" Shego asked herself. Conveniently, the phone rang. Shego snatched it up.

"Shego? Is that you?" A girl's voice was on the line.

"Yeah." Shego croaked.

"Was that you earlier? 'Cause Avarius absolutely flipped when he heard your voice. Should've just hung up. You sound a little freaked. Are you okay?" Shego took a shallow breath.

"War Hawk, we have a major problem."

"What's that?"

"Drakken's going to have a sleepover."

"So? Wouldn't that be an okay thing?"

"Yeah, if it were any other night!"

"You mean…"

"Yes. Drakken and mine's sleepovers are happening at the same time.

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Please review. I'd really like to know what others think about this.


	2. Preparation

Disclaimer: Don't own Shego, Drakken, Kim, Ron, or any villains. I do own all the rest of the villainesses, however.

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Shego pretended to browse through a magazine she had already read, but she was really watching Drakken. He was pacing furiously staring down at a list. She smirked, looking down as she felt his eyes fall on her.

"What are you looking at?" He growled. Darn, he had caught her. She rested her magazine to one side and stared him straight in the eyes. She sighed.

"Nothing." She opened her magazine back up. Mischief gleamed in her eyes, but Drakken missed it.

"What?" He grumbled, looking over his notes.

"Is something wrong?"

"Why do you even bother?" Shego flipped the page. Drakken eyed her suspiciously.

"What are you getting to?" Shego put down her magazine again and recrossed her legs.

"You never plan everything that's going to happen at the sleepover. Just a few main events or else your guests will feel they have no power. They feel like you're in complete control and they hold grudges that you don't even know about until it comes up in therapy." Drakken's mouth opened slightly.

"Which I would not know about." Shego glanced back down at her magazine. She heard a long, deep sigh.

"There is no way I can do this!" He whined, throwing down the list.

"You got that right." She muttered. An evil idea suddenly formed in her head.

"Maybe this just wasn't your destiny to break the gender border."

"Nice try, Shego." Drakken walked over to her. Suddenly, he dropped to his knees.

"OH SHEGO, YOU'VE JUST GOTTA HELP ME! I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO, I MEAN I'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THIS IN MY LIFE AND…"

"Have some dignity, Dr. D." She kicked him gently, not completely appalled at his actions. He grabbed on to her swinging leg and held like glue. She barely masked the shiver growing up her spine.

"If I help you, will you just shut up!" He stopped abruptly.

"Really? You'll help me?" He asked quietly.

"I can't give you all my experience, since sleepovers have girly activities, but I'll try. And I can't help you with your mental issues, they're way too deep." Drakken got a hold of him self and stood up.

"We must start immediately. Teach me your ways!" He was way too eager about this, Shego thought to herself as she stared into his oddly shining eyes.

"Who are you inviting?" She asked. Drakken thought a minute, and then began counting off his fingers.

"Killigan, Fist, Gemini, Cousin Eddie…"

"You're inviting HIM?" Shego interrupted.

"Why not? He's one of the few villains I'm on good terms with." Drakken glared at her.

"He better not hit on me again or he might find out just how painful "green magic" is." She muttered. Drakken cleared his throat and finished with…

"…and Dementor." Shego's eyebrow arched.

"I thought you and Demented were sworn enemies." Drakken smiled.

"Oh how naïve you are, Shego. If I am to go into the unknown and do something no one has ever done before, he's going to act like the little copycat he is and steal my idea. Plus, he's great at parties."

"Sorry to "harsh your 'mellow", but you're not the first guy to come up with this. It's just not a popular thing for guys to do." Shego pointed out.

"As far as you're concerned. Maybe boys don't make such a big deal out of it as girls do. They could do it just as often as girls but not bring it into the public's eye like girls do. Anyway, my sleepover must be spectacular. What games are played at sleepovers?" Oh boy, he's in ranting mode. Shego thought it over.

"Let's see, Truth or Dare is popular. Spin the Bottle's okay, but you won't catch us dead playing that with guys as unattractive as you."

"You did it with the buffoon." Drakken huffed.

"Different story completely." Drakken crossed his arms.

"Really? I recall you being totally willing to play _that_ game." He smirked.

"I didn't know it was going to end out the way it did. Anyway, what else is there…?"

"Shego and the buffoon, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I…" He sang.

"Shut up! I have a crush on someone else, thank you very much!" Shego felt a blush creep up her face. So what if she thought he was cute, in an imbecilic way? Drakken let his arms drop. They would find out the truth tonight, one way or another.

"Oh, how could I forget? Blackmail is a must-have!"

"Blackmail?" Shego's mouth opened slightly.

"You've never heard of Blackmail?" Drakken shook his head.

"At least Possible had an excuse. Maybe it's better if you guys don't pick up on that one." Shego thought some more.

"You can always sit around in a circle, painting your fingernails and gossiping." She mocked.

"We might do that just to spite you." He jeered. Drakken's thoughts wandered for the first time from the sleepover.

"Did you steal the Death-O-Meter 5400 last night like I told you to?"

"Of course. Why?" Then, it hit Shego harder than a freight train at maximum speed with rocket boosters. She leaped out of her chair.

"KIM POSSIBLE!" They yelled at the same time, but for different reasons. Shego was expecting Chloe over in a few hours to help prepare. Drakken, however, saw an opportunity.

"Yes! We shall invite Kim Possible and her sidekick to witness the birth of a new fade. TEENAGE BOY SLEEPOVERS!" Shego's jaw would have dropped to the ground if it wasn't attached to her maxilla.

"No way! Uh-uh, you CANNOT do this! I've tolerated this for the most part so far, but this is to the extreme! You have no comprehension of what could happen if you put a super hero in a room with some of the very people who want her dead!"

"She got along fine with your little friends, didn't she?"

"Yes, but what about Duff Killigan and Monkey Fist and Dementor? Not to mention all the death rays and doomsday weapons you have scattered around here." Shego motioned at the rest of his lair.

"Fine, I won't invite her. But when both of our parties are drab, don't come crying to me!" With that, the mad scientist stalked off to polish off his forgotten evil speech. Shego groaned.

"He's so going to find a way to invite her." She threw her magazine down off the chair and stormed the opposite direction. She needed to go blow something up.

&$)#!#&$($&()&($

"And so, Kim Possible. You are helpless to stop me because you are chained to metal slabs and it isn't courteous!" Drakken gave an evil laugh as he stood at the panels of his Death-O-Meter 5400. Kim looked at her best friend.

"You've got to wonder if he memorizes these speeches or if he just makes them up as he goes along." Ron Stoppable commented. Kim nodded.

"My guess is Answer B." She murmured. Ron wondered if he should tell Kim about the scrap of paper one of Drakken's henchmen had shoved into his pocket before they were chained. He decided against it until he was sure that the ray thingy wouldn't blow them up. The point hummed to life as a green glowing circle widened, pointing straight at both of them. All of a sudden, it shrank again.

"What?" Kim asked herself.

"Oops, I **_accidentally _**stepped on the chord." A henchman said dully. He obviously had no previous acting experiences.

"**_Whatever_** shall I _do_?" Drakken matched his dull tone with more enthusiasm. Shego was doing her best not to upchuck at their ridiculous performance. He was probably getting a raise for doing this.

"Wait, _I'll **plug**_ it _**back** in_." Another henchman offered dully. Shego wasn't the only one not fooled by the awful skit. There was a click that probably wouldn't sound like a normal plug going into a regular socket. But then again, this was a lair.

"Now, I shall _**finish** you **off**_!" Shego risked looking over at Kim. Their eyes met and they both looked exactly the same. They looked away at the same time, and without knowing it rolled their eyes at the same time. Kim and Ron slipped from their metal restrains.

"Shoot! **_That_** wasn't the **_fire button_**." Kim and Ron stood dumbfounded for a minute, and then jogged to the exit.

"Shego, **_after_** _them_!" He yelled. Even that sounded dull. Shego chased them with all the enthusiasm Drakken lacked. She ran beside Kim.

"Did Dr. D say anything unusual to you?" She asked Kim.

"Besides that little skit? No."

"Are you sure, nothing about any parties?" Kim nearly stumbled as they rounded a corner.

"No, why?" Shego shrugged.

"Nothing." She fell away, letting them escape. Any other night, she'd chase them to the very end. But she was expecting company.

$($#&)

Later, on the jet ride back to Middleton, Ron pulled out the note the henchman had shoved in. Maybe it was a clue to the strange getaway back at the lair.

"What's that?" Kim asked, leaning over his shoulder. Ron started unfolding it.

"I think it's from Drakken." Ron noted, glancing at the sloppy handwriting. Slowly, his eyes soaked in the words.

**Dear Buffoon,**

**So, you have found my ingenious note that I had so cleverly had my henchman deliver to you. Hopefully, Shego isn't reading this, too.**

"Why would he care if Shego read it?" Ron asked. Kim shook her head and they continued reading.

**I am inviting you to pioneer with me and some fellow friends into the great unknown (though Shego doesn't believe it)! We shall be the first men in history to have a sleepover! Please come around 6:30 and use the back door. We don't want to disturb Shego's party. P.S. Kim Possible is unofficially invited to Shego's sleepover. (Let's see what she thinks about THAT, mwah ha ha!) Please use the front door.**

Yours truly,

The evil Dr. Drakken

"Do you know what this means?" Kim asked Ron. He shook his head.

"That Drakken's finally gone off the deep end and he STILL doesn't remember my name?" Ron said angrily. It was Kim's turn to shake her head.

"Surely you remember last time?" She asked.

"Yeah, that was weird. Not to mention awkward. I mean, I kissed Shego and got mad at you for no good reason." Ron pondered the information.

"Think they'll have nacos?"

"Ron! What if it's a trap, like the last one?"

"Hey, the last one Shego was trapped with you!" Kim nodded her head slowly.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Shego had seemed pretty loose last time. The other girls were nice, except that Tigress girl. Was she going to be there this time, too?

"Can we go, please, please, please?"

"Sure, I guess." What had made her say _that_? Oh well, she didn't want to disappoint Ron and tell him that they couldn't go. He was already jumping on the jet seats. But what if there was danger? What if there wasn't? Kim thought about the last one, going through every activity. Wait, didn't she have that one tape of Shego doing… Yes, perfect if they were going to play Blackmail again. All the more reason to go.

#() q67w84265J)&$#80276209&

I know; Kim saying okay is OOC. But I just want to put this chapter up. Reviewers: I am in need of some Blackmail. For those of you who aren't familiar with the game, go to Sleepover right now and read about it so you can give me your ideas! Those of you who know what Blackmail is, please send me some ideas. I do have some ideas, but with all the guests I'll need a lot more. Suggestions are welcome for this story and please review. Thank you.


	3. Nail polish and a big bang

Disclaimer: Don't own Shego, Drakken, Kim, Ron, or any villains. I do own all the rest of the villainesses, however.

Okay, obviously I need to clarify some things. When I said someone was cute in an imbecilic way it was Ron, can't remember who asked me that. And I said racist in the first chapter when I meant sexist. Okay, on with the show.

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Kim and Ron slowly made their way down the rock pathway to Drakken's lair. Passing a Keep Out sign, Kim felt a little strange.

"Are you sure it said _Drakken_ and _Shego_ were having _sleepovers_? On the same night? In the same lair?" Ron looked over the note again.

"Yep."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Kim wasn't afraid of Shego or any of her friends, except Tigress. She was more concerned with Drakken's group of friends. Would Ron survive the night? Was it a trap?

Ron however was almost excited. He had never been to a sleepover before. This would be his first time! They got to what they believed was the front door. There was giggling and screaming and female voices.

"See you later, KP." Ron was off to find the back door.

"Ron, wait!" He turned around and she realized just how stupid it would sound if she said she was afraid for him.

"Good luck!" She said instead.

"Worry not, KP." He read her mind. It always freaked her out when he did that. Taking a deep breath, she rang the doorbell. Please let it be Shego, please let it be Shego… Cruel fate wouldn't allow such a thing. Instead, a girl with short purple hair answered. Her smile was huge and her blue eyes lit up.

"Why, if it ain't Miss Possible!" A heavy southern accent exclaimed.

"C'mon, everyone's waiting for ya!" Mischief grabbed Kim's hand and pulled her inside. Kim looked into the middle of what she thought was the living room. A dirty blond nodded at her and turned back to whatever they were watching. Another girl with medium length raven hair and light blue skin turned around, smiled sheepishly, and turned back around. Kim looked on to what the girls were watching.

Two girls were fighting and Kim recognized one as Shego. Her long black hair and green-and-black outfit gave it away. But there was another girl Kim had never seen before. She was moving too fast for Kim to get a good look, but she could see the girl had black hair like most of them. But this girl knew Shego that was for sure. She countered every move, blocked every hit. Kim noticed also that Shego wasn't using her fire. It had to be a mock fight, she reasoned. Neither side was hitting very hard. Now they were circling each other, looking for an opening. Shego hooked her heel around her opponent's calf, but she spun around before Shego could pull her down. The girl delivered a kick to her chin, but Shego grabbed her ankle and she nearly lost her balance. She quickly regained it and just in time to see Shego charge at her. She got down and combined her two legs for a hard kick in the gut. Shego expected this and grabbing her feet, vaulted herself out of harm's way. The girl got back up and quickly grabbed Shego's right wrist. Bending down, she managed to levitate Shego on her back. With all of the strength left in her, she threw Shego down onto the hard floor. Getting down quickly, the other girl pinned Shego firmly on her shoulders.

"You are very good, grasshopper." Shego said with a fake Chinese accent.

"I have been practicing, Shego san." The girl replied in her own fake Chinese accent, slowly getting off Shego. They stood up and Shego at once noticed Kim.

"Hey, Kim. Glad you could make it." There was something wry in Shego's look, but Kim was just content with the fact she was friendly. The other girl looked up and blushed. Why was she blushing?

"Kim, War Hawk and vice versa." War Hawk stepped forward and shook Kim's hand.

"Pleasure to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you." She sounded genuine as her now quiet voice spoke up. She met Kim's eyes for a second, and then glanced back down.

Her hair was almost exactly like the second girl's, but thicker. Her eyes were lavender and she had a shy grin that wouldn't go away. But there was something that was different from the other girls. Kim put her finger on it; she was a stick figure. The other girls were muscular, or at least semi-muscular, but War Hawk was no thicker than the width of a sheet of paper. It was hard for Kim to believe this girl had beaten Shego.

"And of course you remember Golden Arrow, Artica, and Mischief." Each of them said hello in turn, Mischief giving a salute as she said her greeting.

"Hey." Was all Kim managed to say. She looked around the room, expecting some one to come out of the shadows like last time.

"Metaphor couldn't make it." Artica supplied, shrugging.

"What about Tigress?" Kim suppressed a shudder. A sly grin crossed Golden Arrow's face.

"Not invited." She did a pretty good job of keeping the joy out of her voice. Kim instantly relaxed and War Hawk laughed.

"Am I the only one who hasn't met the Almighty Possible?" She joked.

"Do you have the time?" Shego asked. Kim was sure she had never seen Shego more even-tempered or playful before. Except for maybe when she was deciding between Whipped or Minced Possible. Kim saw Golden Arrow arch a brow.

"I thought you had, ya know, during the Incident of 2004?" War Hawk shook her head.

"Sick, remember?"

"Yeah, if it wasn't for that stupid stomach virus I wouldn't have been so lonely." Shego crossed her arms and pouted.

"Well, excuse me. Upchucking a week's worth of meals isn't exactly a bowl full of cherries."

'Better than being stuck with one, two…FOUR MORONS who can't tell their left from their right running around with super powers."

"Are we including or excluding the twins?"

"No, I'm adding the buffoon and Avarius instead. Gosh, get your people straight!" Shego rolled her eyes and War Hawk stuck out her tongue. Kim, already confused, got even more confused when they said something about twins and Avarius. Its times like these all a person can say is…

"Huh?" Shego and War Hawk finally realized that Kim was there.

"Oh yeah." Shego murmured, barely heard by Kim.

"Kim, War Hawk's Avarius' daughter." Kim nodded, digesting the information. Avarius had a daughter? And she was one of Shego's friends? What!

"We've stopped trying to make sense of them for years." Golden Arrow noticed Kim's confusion again.

"It's a tangled web we weave." Mischief replied, mocking the Green Goblin. Kim wondered what it was like for Ron with all the villains and everything.

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Ron was weirded out beyond every weirdness he had ever imagined. He was sitting in a room with a bunch of villains that wanted revenge and no one said anything about it. Dementor, Drakken, Motor Ed, Monkey Fist, Gemini, and Killigan were seated around in a circle surrounded by sleeping bags and bowls of chips. They all stared at each other, wondering what in the world they were going to say. And they were having a sleepover, a strictly girl thing. It was in the rules.

"Um…well…" Drakken stuttered.

"What exactly do you do at these _sleepovers_, Drakken?" Monkey Fist finally began.

"Dude, like I've _never_ been to a sleepover, but this is bogus. Seriously." So much for family support. Drakken looked at the ground.

"I…don't know." He confessed.

"Well, I'm not exactly proud of this…" Killigan began.

"…but I did once read a magazine for girls. I didn't read much, just a wee bit on sleepovers…"

"WHAT DID IT SAY?" Drakken yelled. Killigan paused dramatically, and then continued.

"I'm not sure if it's a good idea…" He ventured.

"_Anything_!" Gemini begged.

"It said that what someone typically does at a sleepover is…"

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The girls were bored. They couldn't think of anything to do. They lounged about, trying to think of something to do. Of course, all the villainesses knew what they wanted to do. But would they all agree to it? Looking into their eyes, you could tell they wanted to pull one over on the boys. Even Shego's eyes gleamed evilly as ideas swan like a school of fish in her mind. Kim considered checking on Ron, just really quick, but didn't think of messing with them. War Hawk finally stood up.

"I'm going to go get a soda." She announced, walking off towards the kitchen. Shego knew what her BFF was doing; the kitchen joined this room and the boy's room together. She wished she had thought of it sooner. Looking at her other friends, she saw all of them yearning for action. Did she dare start the war? I'd be more interesting than just sitting here, that was for certain.

"I need to go get something." She informed them, jogging down the hall (another passageway to the boy's room) and opened the closet. She took down an old shoebox and dusted it off. She took out its contents and ran back to the room. War Hawk ran out of the kitchen at the same time and the two would have collided if it wasn't for their fast reflexes. Shego quickly hid the treasure behind her back.

"You won't believe what they're doing!" War Hawk made her voice just loud enough for them to hear her.

"What?' Kim asked dumbly. War Hawk motioned for them to follow her into the kitchen. They followed like shadows, silent and quick. Crouching under the counter, they peeked quickly from behind the counter. They almost screamed out loud, or laugh until they peed their pants.

Bottles of top coat, base coat, nail polish, and nail polish remover were scattered around a small ring of boys. Ron was sitting across from Drakken and Killigan held Gemini's non-metallic hand. Motor Ed was in a corner by himself, decorating his own nails. Monkey Fist and Dementor stayed away, looking horrified at their comrade's activities. Ron giggled like a little girl.

"Hold still!" Drakken commanded.

"But it tickles!" Ron protested.

"Now you made me screw up!" Drakken scolded.

"Aye, dark blue really compliments your metal hand." Killigan commented, intent with his work.

"Really, it does?" Killigan asked, blushing.

"Dude, this burnt orange is like rad! Ooooh yeah!" Motor Ed stopped himself from doing his guitar solo; he didn't want to smudge the paint.

"And I thought genetically mutated hands and feet violated every law of nature." Monkey Fist shook his head.

"You idiots!" Dementor yelled.

"Don't you know you're supposed to use the base coat first?" Drakken looked at a clear bottle next to him.

"Is that what that's for?" He asked, confused. Kim heard Shego growl quietly.

"That's my nail polish they have their grubby little hands on!" Kim practically felt Shego grind her teeth together.

"This means war!" A tremor filled the girls. Shego pulled out the prize she had gotten out of the closet and the girls barely contained their squeals.

"The Fart Machine 2.0!" The villainesses cheered in unison. Golden Arrow looked into Shego's eyes.

"You get Drakken in position and I'll put it on." Shego handed over the fart machine.

"I'm trusting you. Don't fail me." The other girls ran back to their room, dying to laugh. And laugh they did. After they had recovered from hysterical laughter, Kim had one question on her mind.

"What's the 2.0 part about?" Mischief rested her hand on Kim's shoulder.

"You have much to learn, my young padawan." She said in her best Obi Wan Kenobi voice. Artica couldn't stand the tension.

"As well as making the sounds, it produces the smell!" Kim squealed with delight.

"C'mon! We can get good seats in the hallway!" They raced off and Kim was glad she had decided to come.

&&&&&

"Drakken!" Shego called sweetly. Golden Arrow crouched in a small crevice, sustaining giggles. Drakken walked unsuspectingly over into the kitchen, blowing on his wet nails.

"Why don't you buy the quick drying kind?" He barked. Golden Arrow crawled carefully behind Drakken.

"Because it's not as good, believe me on this one. Drakken, I need to ask you something."

"What?" Shego dared to glance at Golden Arrow. Her arm was half way to his belt, clip ready.

"How is your sleepover going?"

"Oh great! The nail painting was a great opening. By the way, sorry about using your nail polish." Golden Arrow clipped on the machine and somersaulted back into her crevice.

"No problem, please don't do it in the future and you owe me some more. Hey, I think Mischief needs me because you know her she can't do the one thing without that other thing and I need to get it for her. Better get back to your sleepover, too."

"Shego…" Shego shoved Drakken out of the kitchen.

"Bye, now!" Shego turned to Golden Arrow as she stood up.

"Objective obtained." She said, handing over the remote.

"All yours, captain." Shego grinned evilly.

"The tick is in the straw." She whispered. Golden Arrow stared at her.

"What are you talking about?"

"Nothing."

&&&&&

Drakken sat down among his friends.

"What did she want?" Dementor asked. Drakken shrugged.

"Just wanted to see how we were doing." The boys gave each other disbelieving looks.

"Shego just doesn't ask how you're doing. There's always a catch." Everyone nodded in agreement to Monkey Fist's words. Drakken sat down, but not on the fart machine. The fart machine stood up with the support of the floor and Drakken's lower back, ready to stir up trouble. And so it did as a long first rip sounded off.

"Who did that?"

"It wasn't me."

"Whoa! Drakken don't ever Grande size again!"

"But it wasn't me!" Another fart sounded, shorter but louder than the first.

"Go to the bathroom if you're going to do that!" Ron pretended to pass out. Good thing Rufus was safe at home.

"But it isn't me! I swear!"

"Stop denying it, it's so you!" A double dose came forth.

"Dude, like you're going to make us all pass out!"

"Aye, that reeks!" Their eyes were starting to water. The girls were not merciless with the remote. After an especially wicked one, Drakken felt vibrations. Turning around, he saw a small black machine strapped to his belt. He unclipped it and looked it over. Just then, another fart sounded and Drakken swore he saw a puff of smell come out of it. He leaned over and not so wisely sniffed.

"Whoa! Now that's a fart!" Drakken blinked back tears. The boys saw that it wasn't indeed Drakken's body making music, it was a fart machine.

"There's only one reason for that to be there." Drakken concluded. The boys nodded and together they walked down the hall. The girls were everywhere, some were leaning on the wall, some were lying on the floor, and some still managed to have the strength to stand on their own. But all were silently cracking up, some even laughing themselves to tears. But they all straightened up when they saw the anger on the boy's faces.

"You said you weren't going to mess with my sleepover!" Drakken glared at Shego, who looked like a puppy with its tail between its legs. And a paw wiping away tears of laughter.

"Correction: You made an agreement not to mess with my sleepover. I don't remember me doing the same for you. Plus, they wanted to do it, too."

"Oh sure, blame it on us!" War Hawk said in between gasps for air. Drakken felt the fury build inside his cheeks, turning pink and then red. He could see in Shego's eyes how pleased she was. He'd wipe that smirk off her face if it was the last thing he ever did!

"Well, let it be known you were the one to start the war!" Drakken kept his voice amazingly level and demanding.

"Oh contraire. Who played with fire…and my nail polish? C'mon girls!" Following their general's lead, the troops marched off the battlefield. The opposing general turned to his squad.

"We'll get them. I promise." With that, the boys stalked off to plan revenge.

&&&&&&

Please review and tell me if you liked it or not and what you liked. Be gentle, I have low self-esteem. I'll try to update ASAP.


	4. Glue, Sleeping Bags, and Momma Lipsky

Disclaimer: Don't own Shego, Drakken, Kim, Ron, or any villains. I do own all the rest of the villainesses, however.

Before we proceed any farther into this story, I must tell you a crucial partner to this story. Without her genius and support, this story probably wouldn't be as good. She wants me to call her Charchee (caramel cheese, don't ask). She's just as crazy, if not more crazy, than I am. I'll be referring to her from now on, so keep in mind she's to co-writer. P.S. She wouldn't mind if you send her some feedback. She'd be flattered. R&R.

Drakken paced quickly before his group, deep in thought. There was still a faint trace of blush on his cheeks, but it wasn't too noticeable. How could he have fallen for such a stupid prank? No one fell for a fart machine. But what kept the blush there wasn't just embarrassment; a partner fueled the need for revenge. How dare Shego, under any circumstances, prank him? Especially in front of his friends, who after the initial shock and anger began laughing at him? They both knew she was smarter than him, even though he'd prefer to think he was the smarter one. Why was she rubbing it in? There had to be something that would humiliate Shego. Then, he'd show her who was the boss and who was the sidekick! Yes, she'd come crawling on her hands and knees begging him to stop. And, as an added bonus he'd take down Kim Possible at the same time. This would be easy, as soon as he had an idea.

Ron watched as Dr. Drakken paced in his own little world, smiling to himself. What horror was he planning to pull over the girls? Actually, Ron had thought the fart machine prank was genius. He had been the first one to laugh after the incident and now he felt pretty bad. Almost bad enough to apologize. But how many times had Dr. Drakken forgotten his name? Ron Stoppable, how hard was that to remember? Even after the whole Super Diablo Toy ordeal, he still didn't remember it! Wait, he knew what ordeal meant? But that wasn't all that was on the teenager's mind. How was Kim getting along with Shego? Was Shego playing nice for once? Or were the girls ganging up on her? What if she needed him? Ron, without thinking, took off for the kitchen.

"We have soda!" He heard someone yell after him. He crouched behind the counter, watching the girls undetected.

"Give it back!" Shego yelled at Kim, but Ron didn't hear the playfulness in her voice.

"No!" Ron ignored their laughing, thinking only that Shego had something dangerous and that Kim was trying to keep out of her claws. Kim smothered the item between her arms and chest, which her knees also served protection. Her chin was tucked in and her eyes avoided Shego's. Without warning, Shego knocked Kim down and pinned her shoulders to the floor. Kim tried to turn on her back, but Shego was overpowering. Kim was trapped and Shego looked ready to tear her apart. Oh no, the other girls were also prying Kim's arms open. Oh no, they were tickling her! She was screaming at them to stop it, he had to save her. Without any further thought as to what they were doing, Ron ran over and jumped on top of the pile. Shouts of outrage filled his ears as they shoved him off. He pushed himself back in, pulling the other girls amazingly off of Kim.

"Kim!"

"Ron?" Luckily, Shego got off by herself, disgusted at the thought of him shoving her.

"Its okay, KP! I won't let them get the whatever it is!"

"Ron!" Kim stood up, slightly embarrassed by Ron's reaction.

"Excuse us!" Artica objected.

"Kim has something that belongs to Shego!" War Hawk protested. Kim blushed, showing Ron what she was playing keep away with. Shego grabbed her pajamas out of Kim's hands quickly, glaring at Ron. Ron gulped, feeling everyone's burning glare on him.

"Sorry." He muttered, walking off. He had made a fool of himself in front of a group of cute girls, typical. Sure the girls were probably all like Shego but…his sentence trailed off as he saw one girl smiling at him. Not smirking, not sneering, smiling.

It was the blonde chick, the one who looked like Robin Hood's daughter in her corny outfit. But today, she was wearing a baby blue top with plain jeans. Ron ran out of the room, knowing if he stayed any longer he'd make more of a fool out of himself. Was that smile a pity smile? No, he didn't think so. Was she the only normal looking one besides Kim? Yeah. She didn't even have purple hair or unnatural skin color or strange colored eyes. Looks were deceiving, but… That "but" always gave him hope. Did she like him? Maybe. That terrible maybe.

Shego watched her friend shyly smile at Ron and she almost laughed out loud. No way! No way! She caught the looks of the other villainesses and she could see it in their eyes. They were looking at the same thing she had been looking at. They had seen the same thing she had seen. They were thinking the same thing she was thinking. They all settled back down, but Shego made sure she sat next to Golden Arrow. They all sat down and Shego softly nudged Golden Arrow.

"What?" She snapped. Shego tilted her head to behind her. Golden Arrow got it.

"It was a sympathy smile. Nothing more, nothing less."

"Sympathy for what?" War Hawk asked, looking into Golden Arrow's chocolate brown eyes, trying to see if she was lying.

"He made a mistake and I felt sorry for him. I don't know about you, but I've made mistakes before." She leaned back, uncrossing her arms to support her. Mischief made kissing noises with her mouth and batted her eyelashes.

"I DO NOT!" She yelled, fury gathering in the darkness of her pupils. They knew in a minute The Stare would come. But until then…

"Do not what?" Artica asked teasingly. Golden Arrow narrowed her eyes, but then they snapped back to normal. Here came The Stare, the one that would make you feel an inch tall. The one that would make even the best liar tell the truth and confess every lie he had ever done while he was at it. The one that sent a chill up your spine if you were so much in the same room and she did it. The one that froze even Mischief in their tracks, Kim being no exception.

"I do not like Ron Stoppable, is that clear?" Her words were slow and deliberate. The girls nodded their understanding and resolved to try not to bring the subject back up. Shego and War Hawk exchanged glances. They knew it would come up again, no matter what they did to prevent it. Everyone was way too curious to not ask in one way or another. Golden Arrow stood up.

"I'm going to go change into my pajamas." She announced, pulling a pair out of her backpack. The other girls nodded and soon they all had a change of clothes in their hands and were racing for the bathrooms.

Shego motioned for War Hawk and Kim to follow her. Kim felt a warm glow inside of her. Shego was including her, not because she had to but because she wanted to. But she quickly extinguished the glow. Shego would never truly be friends with her. They were enemies on a professional basis, nothing more…or less. But why would Shego invite her to sleepovers if they were enemies? War Hawk was Avarius' daughter and she was friends with her. Enemies didn't have to be enemies _all_ the time, right? But what about Drakken? Kim pushed the subject aside for now. She noticed as the girls ran into the boy's room and directed their course towards the boys. They didn't slow down or yield. Tipping over bowls of chips and sending sleeping bags into disarray, they plunged into the heart of whatever the boys were talking about. Kim laughed spitefully as the men yelled and some even screamed. As they left the boys in chaos, Kim wondered if this was what Shego felt like (or any villain for that matter) when she tortured her. Was this what it felt like to be a villain? The trio charged up a set of stairs and took a sharp left. Breathing deeply, the girls halted and walked on slower.

"Too evil for you, princess?" Shego turned to Kim, hands on hips, lips curled into a smirk. Kim shook her head and looked for War Hawk's reaction War Hawk arched a brow at Shego with a wry expression, as though there was something funny about her calling Kim "princess". She shrugged, letting go of whatever she was thinking. Shego pointed towards one of the rooms.

"You guys can dress in my room." She offered.

"Then where are you dressing?" Kim asked. A sly grin crept onto Shego's face.

"Drakken's room."

&&&&&&&&

Drakken growled as the last chip was dropped into the last bowl.

"Finally." Gemini sighed. Drakken glared up the stairs and watched as Shego waltzed into his room. She was taking liberties that she wasn't entitled to. She thought that she was invincible just because she had her friends over for a little sleepover. Yeah, just wait until her next pay day when she sees it's only a quarter of what she usually gets. You broke a lot of nerves, he'd say, and that comes out of your pay. Drakken snapped out of his thoughts as a cry rose from Ron.

"I'm stuck!" He yelled. Drakken rolled his eyes. And he wondered why he called him the buffoon. Only he could wrap himself like a human cocoon into his sleeping bag and get stuck to the wall somehow. Monkey Fist and Killigan were already trying to help him out.

"What is this stuff?" He heard one of them ask.

"It's…glue." The other noted. They tried and tried again to get him off, but they couldn't. Everyone crowded around, pulling at him. Ron somehow got out, but the sleeping bag was stuck tight.

"Drakken, what kind of glue is this?" Dementor turned to him. It was then he realized what exactly it was.

"It's this really sticky glue that you need some special substance to get it off."

"Do you have it?"

"Yeah, it's in the cupboard under the sink." Drakken shook his head. He wasn't even going to try to remember what reason Shego had for putting that on the wall. Motor Ed came back with a blue bottle shortly.

"Did I get the right bottle?" He asked. Wow, a sentence that didn't include "like", "dude", or "seriously". There was still hope for him yet.

"That's the one." They began spraying it to the wall and the sleeping bag. Gemini stepped aside and stood next to Drakken.

"Their room is completely abandoned." He murmured.

"Now would be perfect for revenge." Drakken nodded, realizing he was right. He watched as even with the bottle, it was difficult to peel off the sleeping bag without tearing the material. The glue, the sleeping bag, the wall, somehow all of this caught his imagination. And then, like the last piece of the puzzle fitting in perfectly, he had it.

"Drop the sleeping bag, I have an idea!" They stared at him like he was crazy.

"An idea how to sabotage the girl's little camp!"

"You have our attention." Monkey Fist spoke for all of them. And so, while the girls dressed into their pajamas, their "camp" was sabotaged.

&&&&&&&&

Kim finished dressing and had the leisure to look around Shego's room. It was very simple with just a bed, a closet, and a desk. Well, War Hawk was in the bathroom so Kim didn't have the chance to see it. The comforter was forest green, as Kim had partially suspected. The walls were a soothing burgundy and the crème curtains on the window were drawn closed. Kim got off her bed, walking towards Shego's closet. Kim had always imagined just green-and-black outfits and nothing else. But there were only a few of her every freaking day full body suits. The rest were normal clothes with a variety of color. Kim had to admit, Shego had great taste when it came to fashion. Perhaps even better than hers. Kim turned from the closet and faced the desk, right under the window. There was a small goose-necked lamp and a tray with pens and pencils and erasers and paper clips lined up precisely in it. Kim _had_ always pictured Shego as organized. She opened the drawer and found papers stacked neatly together with a paper clip. Kim, even though she knew she shouldn't, picked it up and glanced through them.

Nothing but letters and printed-out e-mails. But something caught Kim's eye. It was a picture, obviously drawn by younger kids. Five stuck figures in clothes held hands in a green field on a sunny day. Four boys and one girl, the girl in a green-and-black suit with long black hair. Kim gasped. There was a blue-and-black boy on her right side much bigger than the rest and a purple-and-black frowning boy on her left. Two smaller boys were on the ends in red-and-black. Above them, in the blue sky, "Happy Birthday, Shego" was written in crayon green. In smaller letters almost blending in with the grass, "Love, Thing One and Thing Two." Kim smiled, wondering how Shego reacted when that came in the mail. Kim flipped more towards the front and found a printed out e-mail from forgive you and your bad mood. Personally, I thought you were just PMS-ing. But no, blame it on your lack of sleep (wink). I'm just messing with you. We know you didn't mean anything you said, just trying to act tough around Kim and Avarius. Too bad War Hawk got that bug. Anyway, I've got to get to work at the "Taco Shack" as you call it. I'll remember not to get Kim involved if we need your help again, even though that part was a complete accident. Lots of love, keep in touch.

**-Hego**

"Drop it!" Kim let go of the pack as she heard a voice behind her. Oh crap, Shego had caught her looking through her personal stuff. She closed the drawer and wheeled around. It was only War Hawk, thankfully.

"Do you know how mad Shego would get if she saw you looking through that?" She was calm and composed, but anger carried in her voice.

"She'd kill Drakken in his sleep if he knew, not to mention how she'd react to you." War Hawk walked closer and Kim felt sweat course down her back.

"Please don't tell her." Kim knew her words came out like a whining toddler, but she didn't care at the minute. She was too busy imagining Shego with a machete and a carving stone with herself tied to a stake. The other girl's expression softened and Kim could feel her giving in.

"I won't tell her unless she asks." Kim didn't realize she had been holding her breath until she let it go.

"Thanks." Kim smiled gratefully, knowing she might be at least halfway around the world before she'd find out. At least a head start. The anger faded rapidly from War Hawk's eyes and the always-ready smile came back to her face. The moment was short lived as an out-of-breath Artica came running in.

"You won't…believe…what they…did." Artica managed to say between gasps. As she breathed out, a puff of vapor floated from her mouth. Shego came into the room, too. Galloping, they sped back down the stairs and returned to the room. If they had only seen the look on the guys' faces, let's just say some tempers would blow.

At first, they saw nothing. But that was the point. Realization One: There were no sleeping bags on the ground. Artica pointed to above their heads and they looked up. Realization Two: They were stuck on the ceiling. Looking at one another, a thought crossed their minds. Realization Three: The boys would pay. Shego's hands balled into fists and green fire crackled with fury. A blush crept onto her cheeks much like the one Drakken had as he was teased about the fart machine.

"How are we going to get them down?" Golden Arrow asked. Shego shook her head.

"I have the stuff to get it off, but I'm still wondering how they got up there. We don't have a ladder large enough to climb up there." Kim thought though the high ceilings were good for moving giant robots, it wasn't convenient for getting sleeping bags off of. Shego raced to the kitchen and opened the cupboard under the sink.

"Looking for this?" Shego stood up and was face to face with Drakken…and the bottle. She grabbed for it, but Drakken was too quick.

"Looks like this battle's won." He said triumphantly. What Shego wouldn't do to wipe that smug look off of his ugly blue face.

"But the war's still going on." Shego barked.

"I will get that bottle!" She vowed.

"And you WILL pay!" Drakken laughed at her comments, but only he knew it was nervously.

"I'd like to see you try." He turned around to head back, but then he said something Shego would have pummeled him if he hadn't have walked away.

"Boys rule! Girls drool!" He chanted. Shego sombered over to the girls, not willing to share the bad news. Unknown to everyone, Golden Arrow was in the hallway, listening as the phone on the other line rang. Finally, after five rings, the other person picked up.

"Hello?"

"Hi. I know you're busy and everything, but we have an emergency on our hands. I think if you listen, you'll agree to help…"

&&&&&

Metaphor got off of her cell-phone and turned to Tigress.

"I have to go."

"Why?" Tigress hissed suspiciously. Metaphor watched as her tail swayed from side to side. She hated when she did that.

"Simile's got the baby-sitter tied up in the basement again, holding her hostage for chocolate. Better make sure she's alright." Metaphor giggled nervously, hoping for once she would fly under the radar.

"Vicci's a villainess; she can take care of herself." Tigress replied airily.

"But she's in the hands of my sister." Tigress nodded and Metaphor dared to breathe again.

"She is a handful. Why don't you go make sure they're okay?" Metaphor was so relieved, she forgot to look worried. She turned to leave.

"And why don't you call the President and tell him I can't make it for tea tomorrow, I'm going shopping with the Queen of Denmark?" Metaphor cursed in her head.

"You really ought to work on your lying." Metaphor turned around, knowing she was not yet done with the feline.

"Where are you _really_ going?"

"Back to my house." Metaphor's eyes darted from Tigress'.

"Now tell me the truth." Tigress purred coaxingly.

"I'm going back to my house!" Metaphor yelled, jumping off the rooftop in Paris. Tigress' yellow cat eyes narrowed.

"She's always been a terrible liar." She noted.

"But perhaps there is something more. It's got to be better than raiding the same city three nights in a row." Tigress silently leaped from the rooftops like only a cat can and staying a good distance behind, she followed Metaphor.

&&&&&&&

An hour passed as the girls plotted and schemed. Golden Arrow told no one of her plot. Why should she? They were the ones who made fun of her smiling at Ron. Let's see how scared Shego will get when a certain someone will supposedly show up. The doorbell rang. Right on time. Shego got up to answer it, but Golden Arrow motioned for her to keep sitting. Shego arched an eyebrow, but said nothing. Mischief, however, got up and peeked through the peephole. Just as planned.

"It's for you, Dr D." Mischief scrambled back, and Golden Arrow hoped Drakken thought it was Shego's voice and not Mischief's impersonation. Drakken did make his way to the door and on cue, SHE walked in.

"Hi, Drewbie! Give Mommy a great big hug!"

"Mother! What are you doing here?" Golden Arrow glanced at Shego and she wondered who was more creeped out, the boss or the assistant.

"Your girlfriend called me and told me you were having a sleepover." If looks could kill, Shego would have been deep fried and boiled in oil with a thousand knifes in her back. But thankfully, they didn't.

"You have to introduce me to every one of your little friends!" The short woman shuffled along in her high heels and Golden Arrow wondered if her red cyclone-like hair threw her off balance.

"Well, mother. They're in the other room."

"Drew Theodore P. Lipsky, what have I told you about boy-girl sleepovers?" She shook one finger at him and pointed another at the cluster of girls. If they weren't so scared stiff, they'd probably be cracking up over the strange woman who just appeared out of no where.

"It's Shego's fault, she wanted one the same night as mine!" Drakken tried to push the shame over to Shego, whom he was pointing at. Now, Drakken would be hit by a bolt of lightening, ran over by an 18 wheeler, shot at by hundreds of machine guns, all while he was walking on a mine field if looks could kill. Shego held her tongue even though she knew it was the other way around. Shego examined Drew's "mother" closer and relaxed. She looked over at Golden Arrow and grinned, though the latter wished she wouldn't have found out for a little while longer. Drakken introduced each girl by their nickname (he didn't know most of their real names) except Kim.

"Oh, I remember her!" Drakken's mother exclaimed.

"Did her treatment not go well the first time? Or is this a party for all your cured patients?" She whispered rather loudly. Shego had to restrain Mischief so she wouldn't kill the wrong person. Shego whispered the secret into Mischief's ear and she nodded. Kim was the only one who didn't know yet. Drakken blushed.

"You could say that. Now, don't you want to go see Cousin Eddie?" He shoved her towards the hallway.

"You invited that negative role model to _your _slumber party?" That was the last thing they heard from his mother. The girls dared to giggle. Kim stood there, not sure what to do. It wasn't polite to laugh at someone, but she sensed there was more to this than what it appeared.

"What's going on?" Kim whispered in the closest girl's ear, which happened to be Shego.

"That isn't Drakken's mother." Shego murmured back.

"Then, who is it?"

"Wait and the apple will fall into your hand." Mischief reminded Kim of an old wise Chinese dude, like from that one new show on Disney Channel (sorry for the lame pun, I just had to say it). Five minutes passed before they heard the guys screaming.

Metaphor came running into the girl's room, laughing hard. Kim got it now. She had done that last sleepover, too, coming in late and pretending to be someone she wasn't. She had scales like a snake's all over her body, her hair black like some of the other girls. Her eyes were like cats, yellow with a slit for a pupil. She collapsed, laughing. And then, the boy clan came running in yelling at the top of their lungs. Metaphor crawled to where the girls were sitting, hiding behind War Hawk.

"Save me." She whispered.

"SHEGO!" Drakken roared, humiliated once again.

"It wasn't me this time, I swear!" Golden Arrow raised her hand.

"It was me." She said sheepishly. The ponytail that was Drakken's raven hair quivered with emotion.

"It doesn't matter! It was a girl, nonetheless, and now you've got an extra person! Not fair, not fair at all!" Shego beamed at him.

"What goes around comes around." She sang.

"Looks like this battle's won." Mischief rejoiced, quoting Drakken to the exact tone.

"Wait until we get you back!" Drakken bellowed as they stormed off.

Shego held up a fist, and then her pointer finger came up. One. Her middle finger joined her pointer finger. Two. Her index finger came up to join the previous other two. Three!

"GIRLS RULE, BOYS DROOL!" The battle cry echoed in the lair, hurting Drakken even more. Watching patiently from the shadows, waiting for opportunity to arise, another murmured the girls cry.

"Girls rule, boys drool."

&&&&&&&&

Oooh, suspense! Sorry if I over foreshadowed, rereading the chapter it sounds obvious. But maybe people like guessing with easy clues, I don't know. I'll talk to Charchee and see what's in store for next chapter, though I promise it will be good. Though not as good as a fart machine. BTW: Charchee is not, I repeat not, me. She is another individual that I consult with. A living one.


	5. Pride and Prejudiced

Disclaimer: Don't own Shego, Drakken, Kim, Ron, or any villains. I do own all the rest of the villainesses, however. Nor do I own the Dixie Chick's "Good-bye Earl" song, though it is a variation.

Charchee: Hi, everyone this is Charchee speaking. Shegal92 came up with the song from our favorite (country) song that we sing a lot. Shegal92 is my favorite author and if you write to me you are awesome. I don't have a favorite character because it's a tie between Metaphor, Mischief, Golden Arrow, and War Hawk. Please write to me your favorite character and what you think of what I just wrote.

Shegal92: Well, that was Charchee talking. I asked her to write a note to the people at Fanfiction before the next chapter came up. What she's basically trying to tell you is that there will be a song near the end of this chapter, "Good-bye Drew", and it's a variation of our favorite country song, "Good-bye Earl". She also asks for more messages and who's your favorite character. Here we go with the chapter, R&R and send a message to Charchee.

&&&&&

Shego flipped through a directory of home delivery food businesses, looking for something that they could order. Too bad Domino's had a zero policy for delivering to lairs. Shego couldn't so much as make toast without burning it, let alone a meal. Wait, didn't Kimmi take Home Ec? Nah, she wasn't that desperate. She even considered KFC, but they didn't deliver to lairs either. What good was a free directory for going to one of those boring villain conventions if nothing delivered to lairs?

"Chill, Shego. I have it covered." Shego's nails dug into the counter as the burning desire to hurt him returned. She turned her head to face Drakken.

"What did you get Derek's Landfill Take-Out or something?" Drakken made a clucking sound with his tongue and shook his head.

"Oh Shego of very little faith." Drakken's eyes dared her to ask what it was, but her pride refused to. But her lack of cooking ability struggled to comprehend. Eventually, Drakken's gloating habits kicked in.

"Monkey Fist told me of this really cool delivery service, _the only one that delivers to lairs_, and I took the liberty of calling for you. Just to show you how good a sport I am." Thankfully the counter was metal…and fire-proof. Shego took a deep breath, knowing this was going to hurt her pride more than anything else.

"Thanks." She muttered between clenched teeth. Shego had never seen Drakken smile so wide.

"No problem." He said slowly, letting the words sink into Shego's mind. He sauntered to his room, his head held high.

When Shego came stomping back, it didn't take a genius to figure out Shego's pride had just taken a major nose dive. Shego flicked her long black hair over her shoulder and glued her hands to her hips. Her emerald eyes went even darker and the girls scooted closer together.

"Drakken already took care of it." She spat and Kim swore she saw smoke coming out of Shego's nostrils.

"Do you think it's a trap?" War Hawk asked carefully. Shego started taking deep breaths. She glared at the kitchen, towards the boys.

"I'm not sure." She answered just as precariously.

"But I smell a rat." Shego sat down and tried hard to become calm. The storm was on the way.

&&&&&

"Are you sure that's an actual delivery service?" Dementor questioned Monkey Fist.

"Dead sure. I've even got a frequent users club membership." Every one stared at him. Who in their right mind (even a villain) would be a frequent user of _that_ business?

"Believe it or not, bananas aren't everything a monkey eats. They need a balanced diet including…"

"Shut your yap, the girls'll hear ya!" Killigan clamped his hand on his mouth. Drakken looked down at the scrap of paper, pressing every button precisely, making sure he got none of it wrong. He put the receiver to his ear and he listened to a guy on the other end. Drakken gave the others thumbs up and they knew he had the right number.

"Hello, my name is Dr. Drakken, perhaps you've heard of me?" Pause.

"No, you're thinking of Dementor. Anyway, I have to say I'm a huge fan of the show and just have to try some "grub" for myself. What is possibly the grossest thing on your menu?" Drakken nodded as the guy rambled on.

"Yes, the Madagascar hissing cockroaches. Six, please." Short pause.

"Alive, please. The banana slugs sound delicious. I'll have a dozen. And one cow heart with a side of pig intestine. Anything else you might suggest? We're having a party." Longer pause.

"I'll try some of the spicy red ants. You sell them by the hundred? I guess two will be enough." Gemini mouthed something and Drakken nodded his head.

"Any spiders? Perfect! Five tarantulas, please. What's on your dessert menu?" Drakken nodded his head as the guy talked a little more.

"A batch of ladybug cookies will do nicely. That will be all, thank you. Deliver it to this address and make sure to deliver it to the back door. It's…um…a surprise." Drakken read the coordinates to the other man, said good-bye, and hung up. The boys broke out into laughter.

"Wait until Shego sees what she agreed to!" Drakken thought out loud.

"We'll be hearing them scream like the girls they are." Gemini concluded. Everyone ignored Motor Ed's invisible guitar solo.

"They won't see it coming!" Dementor cackled. Unknown to the avenging men, a spy was listening to them in the hall hidden by shadows. Artica's frown deepened as her stomach threatened to heave. This was wrong! She had to warn the girls! She walked regretfully back to the girls. Why was she the barer of bad news?

&&&&&

"They ordered from where?" Shego screamed in the quietest voice possible. They were huddled together as Artica delivered the news.

"Fear Factors 'R Us." Artica repeated.

"That's an actual delivery service?" Kim asked and watched as Artica shrugged. I better not let my brothers get that number, she thought to herself. She shivered. As if they weren't gross enough.

"What are we going to do?" Metaphor asked, turning to Shego. Shego chewed the inside of her cheeks.

"We can't let them see how disgusted we are of the food choices." She concluded.

"That's the whole reason they ordered from there; our reaction. So if we give them no reaction…"

"There's no satisfaction!" Golden Arrow finished.

"Exactly. So we have to pull off the best poker face we have." All the girls nodded, agreeing to the plan. All except one, that is.

"No way! No way am I going with this heinous plan!" Kim pushed away from the group. Shego shrugged.

"You're right, Kim." Kim looked at Shego as though she had just sprouted wings.

"One of us has to detest it to make it more believable." Kim sighed in relief and watched as Shego smiled. But there was something beyond friendly in it. Did Shego think she was a coward for not eating it? War Hawk must have sensed some tension, because she spoke up.

"What are we going to do in the meantime?" Shego shrugged.

"I don't know. What do you guys want to do?"

"Let's watch a movie!" Mischief piped up and Kim was sure she was making fun of her by using Tim's voice. Or maybe it was Jim's. They got up and browsed through the movies. Good thing they had the TV. in their room.

&&&&&

The girls watched as the end credits for Catwoman rolled down and the back door opened. Typical, Shego thought, for them to have the guy deliver at the back door. Mischief got up and pressed the rewind on the VCR. The other girls slowly got up, exchanging glances. They nodded, knowing what to do.

"It's finally here!" Metaphor yelled. The girls stampeded to the hallway.

"I'm starving!" War Hawk pitched in. The girls halted as they entered the boy's room. Drakken was forking over the cash while a few other boys picked up the boxes. The thick cardboard boxes were black with yellow letters that read, "Fear Factor 'R Us." There was something in smaller letters under it, but they weren't close enough to read it. The delivery guy looked around the room.

"Having a sleepover?" He asked.

"Yes." Drakken nodded as he signed a paper. Probably some release statement saying it's not their fault if you get sick and puke. The man laughed.

"Crazed villains. Always trying to one-up the villainesses." He said to himself as he walked away.

"Have a good night!" Drakken cried after him. He turned to the girls with a box with holes on the top in them and walked over.

"Well, here it is ladies. Take out!" The girls walked over and kneeled next to the guys. Kim made sure she sat next to Ron.

"This is getting out of hand." She whispered to him. He nodded in agreement.

"You're telling me." Kim read the smaller print on the boxes.

"Evidently, fear is not a factor for you." Shego read the words out loud, not wanting to know what was in the boxes. She couldn't believe what she was about to do, just for the sake of Drakken's opinion of her. She looked at the other girls, reading their looks of horror.

"Um, what exactly is in these boxes?" Golden Arrow poked at the biggest one, not betraying nervousness.

Drakken loved the expressions on the girl's faces. Shego was trying so hard not to look disgusted, but Drakken read beyond her tough outer skin. She was a major fan of the show and every Monday night they'd watch it together. She always told him, "I could do that. And I could do it much faster." Well, now here was her chance. He had no doubt she could do the physical challenges better than any wanna-be, but what about eating animal entrails? Here, she would prove that she had what it took to go on that show. Or that she really didn't.

Shego watched as Drakken set the box on the ground. It was hissing. Hissing cockroaches, they were going to eat hissing cockroaches! It took every fiber of her body not to scream. She wouldn't let Drakken get a reaction; she wouldn't let him see her fail. He opened the other boxes and her stomach did somersaults. Shego looked at her friends. She was grateful to see she wasn't the only one looking a little queasy. Even the guys, who Shego was sure had something else to eat, looked ready to add to the mess.

"The only delivery service for lairs." Drakken noted smugly. Shego gave him her worst glare, but it bounced off with no effect. Golden Arrow picked up a banana slug with little less emotion than if it was a biscuit and without hesitance, opened her mouth and dropped it in. Kim's eyes went wide as she chewed and swallowed with little more concern than as if it were an M&M.

"Funny, doesn't taste like a banana." She commented, reaching for another one. Shego almost laughed as she looked at the expression on the guy's faces. They had no clue what kind of woman Golden Arrow was or what she was truly capable of. Even Drakken saw that his plan was going up in smoke. Kim shivered.

"That is on so many levels of wrong!" She protested on cue. It didn't take much acting to "pretend" that she was horrified of the other girl's reactions.

"Did we get any forks?" Shego asked casually. She knew what she was going to eat. Motor Ed handed her a little plastic fork and she opened The Box.

"You are not going to!" War Hawk was in disbelief. She had known Shego for what seemed like forever and she still surprised her.

There were six of those big suckers running around on top of each other. They weren't normal cockroaches, they were Madagascar hissing cockroaches. Their length was from one of Shego's cheeks to the other and indeed they were hissing. She could do this, somehow. Deftly, she flipped a cockroach over and stabbed it. It was still alive. The cockroach was closing in, any second now. Through the teeth, past the gums, look out stomach here it comes. Its head was now in her mouth, but before she could bite it it bit her. Man that hurt so freaking bad! Almost worse than when she slammed her hand in the car door. Before she lost all courage, she decapitated it with her teeth, chewed, and swallowed. This was the most disgusting thing she had ever eaten. Liquid oozed into her mouth and the crunch of its shell sounded so repulsive. She chewed and swallowed a second time and then a third. The Madagascar hissing cockroach was now inside of her and she swore after this only a life or death situation would make her eat something that loved to eat garbage. Poker face, Shego, poker face.

"Crunchy." She announced. And disgusting, and repulsive, and an oozing walking pile of garbage… It was almost worth it to see the look on Drakken's face. She had pulled off the poker face.

"You want some?" She motioned over the boxes. His face was growing more and more pale.

"No thanks, I'll pass." He walked off towards the kitchen.

That was disgusting! It was enough for him to watch Shego gulp it down, but then she offered _him_ some. Okay, she's qualified for Fear Factor. Qualified and would win! Shego knew he didn't have the best stomach. His stomach lurched as he thought of what was in hers.

"You barbarian!" Drakken smiled as he heard his nemesis yell at Shego. He watched as Kim backed up along with, um, err, Don Quitable? No, that wasn't right. Ston Ronnable? No, but he felt he was getting closer…

Shego watched as Artica held the dead tarantula in her hands. Artica had arachnophobia, how could she eat that? Shego watched, amazed, as she tore off a leg and took a bite. Wow, who knew Artica was so brave? Shego winced as she heard a sickening slurping sound.

"Slimy yet satisfying!" Mischief proclaimed, reminding Shego of Pumbaa from The Lion King.

Soon, contests started up. Who could eat what faster or who could eat what more of? On a few occasions, a girl would laugh so hard ants would come out her mouth. The boys were long gone. The girls sprawled out and had a serious giggle fit. But then, it happened. Artica knew this was going to happen, but there had been no reasoning in her mind after that first bite. She ran to the nearest sink, seeing they didn't provide the puke bucket, and prayed she'd make it there in time. The nearest sink that Artica knew of was in the kitchen and so upon arriving not a second too soon, the contents of her stomach made a U-turn in the digestive system. She turned away, the smell horrible. She straightened up and reached for a napkin to wipe her mouth off. Finding one, she saw the guys sitting at the table eating meat loaf. They were staring at her staring at them staring at her staring. She ran back to the group silently; she had just tossed her cookies in front of guys she barely knew.

"You okay?" Metaphor genuinely asked. She nodded and sat down.

"They're eating meat loaf." She growled. Fury shone in all the girls' eyes, except one pair. Her eyes shone darkly with trouble, barely stopping herself from laughing.

"What?" Whatever it was, it couldn't be good. Shego leaned in as did the others to hear her juicy secret.

"Let's just say there are seven boys, three bathrooms, and one empty bottle of laxatives." All mouths dropped wide open.

"Shego, you have the potential to be the greatest villainess in the world." Golden Arrow patted Shego on the back. Kim smiled, but inside she was scared. Golden Arrow was right; if Shego ditched Drakken she really could take over the world…again. But Kim had taken down Shego plenty of times. And she was probably worrying for nothing. Right?

&&&&&&

Ron finished his meat loaf guiltily, knowing Kim was being forced to eat bugs. They hadn't done anything that bad to deserve it. Why should someone be forced to eat something just because they had pride? Well, in truth Kim never touched a bug, but still… Ron smiled inwardly. Shego was eating bugs. She had never done anything kind to either him or Kim and now she was paying. Ron didn't see a hint of the thoughts going on in her mind, but he knew what he'd be doing. Throwing up just like that blue girl. Ha, ha Drakken had to clean up after her. After he was done, they rinsed their plates and put them in the dishwasher. Shego had to eat bugs while they ate meat loaf! The thought rightened the whole wrong.

As they walked back to their place, they found it was spotless. The boxes were gone, the sleeping bags were straightened, and Drakken had a note on his pillow. He picked it up and immediately recognized Shego's neat cursive. The signature helped, too.

"What does it say, dude?" Drakken pivoted on his heel as Motor Ed attempted to read over his shoulder. Clearing his throat, Drakken read it out loud.

"Going number 2, releasing the hounds, dropping the kids off at the pool, launching a beast, however you say it you'll be having it. Sincerely, Shego." The boys' pupils grew in size.

"Oh man." Ron whimpered.

"What is she talking about?" Dementor flinched.

"I don't know, but I'm about to find out!" Drakken stormed down the hallway and into the girls' room. Shego turned expectantly to Drakken.

"Shego, can I speak to you privately for a minute?" Shego stood up and followed Dr. Drakken into the hallway. Before she turned the corner, she gave her crew a wink and a thumbs-up. She wasn't afraid of whatever Drakken was about to dish out. She probably had it at one time or another. Drakken spun around as soon as they were in the center of the hall.

"So, I assume you found the note?" Shego crossed her arms in front of her.

"Hard to miss, but tell me what does it mean?" He waved it in front of her face, but her eyes showed no interest at all in the slip of paper.

"It means while you were busy ordering take-out, I put laxatives in your meat loaf. It should kick in about an hour from now." Drakken's jaw dropped open and Shego smirked. She was tempted to put something in it. Instead, she smoothly took a finger and closed it. Shego thought she might as well get stuck in fast-dry cement, because it looked like Drakken was getting ready for a lecture.

Drakken calmed himself, reasoning it would do no good if he got all worked up over what has already happened. There was only one way to change the trap and sadly it didn't include a time machine.

"Why don't you just give up? Boys are so much better!"

"Don't make me laugh. If girls weren't around to keep guys on their feet, they would sit around in their boxers drinking beer and watching football."

"That's your problem, Shego. You're so prejudiced about men. All men are not the same. Like all women aren't the same. I'm sure no other girl on the planet except you cries when a Disney villain dies in a movie." Shego glared at him.

"I have issues with Disney's portrayal of villains, I admit, I have to get over. And yes, I am prejudiced against men. I've seen too many stereotypes to think differently. I bet no other man on Earth steals my hair bands, speaking of which can I have mine back?" Shego tugged at his ponytail. Drakken swatted at her and she gave in…for now.

"You never know. I bet no other girl in this whole world loves to torture me as much as you." Shego considered this.

"What about your mother?"

"She doesn't even come close." Shego seemed pleased at this news.

"So, in the past two minutes we've figured out all men and women are different and no one in the world hates you as much as I do. That's what I call productive." Shego began walking back to her end of the hallway.

"I bet you've even written songs about how much you hate me." Shego froze.

"How do you know?"

"Let's just say I have my sources." Tigress is as good as dead, when I find her.

"Why don't you sing a song for us?"

"I don't sing."

"I've heard you." Shego snorted.

"In the shower, maybe."

"You have a lovely singing voice." Sarcasm dripped from Drakken's voice like venom from a rattlesnake's fangs after a kill.

"Either that, or I have something worse than bugs in mind." Blackmail, that was her trick! She shrugged like it didn't matter to her, but she was shaking inside.

"Ten minutes, our side. Be there, all of you." Drakken stalked off, leaving Shego to wonder how they got from laxatives to singing.

Shego tried in vain to look okay, but she was bombarded with questions.

"What did he say?"

"Did you tell him about the laxatives?"

"How much did he chew you out?" Shego knelt down next to War Hawk and whispered everything into her ear, from laxatives to singing.

"I don't see why you're so worried; you have a beautiful singing voice." War Hawk said after she was finished. Shego rolled her eyes.

"He wants me to sing a song that says that I hate his guts. How do I portray that nicely?"

"Serves you right."

"Whose side are you on?"

"Look, he didn't say anything about a duet, did he?" Shego shook her head.

"Would it make you feel better if I went up with you?"

"You're the greatest!"

"I know, but can you please stop hugging me?" Shego let go of her.

"What should we sing?"

"I don't know; I went into Drama Queen Mode." She confessed. And so, Shego and War Hawk entered their own little discussion. And so did the rest of the group.

"I do not look like a deer!" Golden Arrow protested against Metaphor.

"Come on! Your eyes look amazingly similar to a deer's. They're big and brown. Not to mention how agile you are."

"I don't run when I can fight." Looking at her, Kim agreed. She certainly didn't look like a wimp. Metaphor shrugged.

"True, but you are a vegetarian."

"Who just ate bugs. Can't we do someone else now?"

"Sure." Golden Arrow sized up Metaphor.

"You look like a blue snake."

"Gee, the scales don't help!"

&&&&&&&

Monkey Fist helped Drakken set up the microphone and the stool.

"Do you really think Shego will show up?" He asked Drakken. Drakken shrugged his left shoulder.

"If it was anyone else I could say for certain. But Shego's as unpredictable as the weather without modern technology."

"I don't think she will." Monkey Fist stated as he adjusted the height of the microphone stand.

"She has the guts and probably the talent, but she is rather shy on center stage." He added. Drakken snorted.

"I think she will. She has too much pride on the line. Plus, I let her use her imagination as to what I'd do if she didn't." Drakken rolled up his sleeve and looked at his watch.

"Any minute now." He murmured.

&&&&&&

"Do I have to drag you in there?" War Hawk asked Shego. Shego wasn't nervous about her performance; she was mostly just stalling.

"Maybe." She replied slyly. The other girls had gone ahead and were waiting for the star (s) of the show. War Hawk looked Shego in the eyes.

"We've been best friends since we started school together. Even when we got our powers and did the whole super villain/hero role play, we still snuck out. Avarius never caught us and…" Shego covered her friend's mouth.

"You started monologue-ing again." She explained, uncovering War Hawk's mouth.

"Thanks, sorry about that. Summary: This is nothing compared to what we've done before." Shego nodded her head.

"I know, but I also know if I sing this song I'll be that much closer to actually getting fired."

"Shego, if he hasn't fired you yet he's not going to fire you over a stupid song. He'll just regret making you do this. Plus, he couldn't find a better lackey if he tried." War Hawk gave Shego's hand a reassuring squeeze.

"Thanks, I think I'm ready. Wait, were you being sarcastic about the lackey thing?"

"Nah, just making fun of you. It's time!"

"You daughter of a bird!" The first bird joke of the night, it would not be the last. They walked out of the hallway and into expectant company.

"Could you possibly take any more time to get ready?" Drakken groaned.

"She needed a motivation speech." War Hawk explained.

"If you could call that motivation." Shego muttered. They walked up to center stage.

"Only Shego is supposed to sing."

"You never said anything against a duet." Shego put her hands on her hips.

"Fine, whatever. We need another mike!"

&&&&&

"Why do you get the stool?" War Hawk questioned a few minutes later.

"Because I'm wanted." Shego adjusted herself.

"You wouldn't even be up here if it wasn't for me." She growled.

"Do you know that for certain?" Shego turned her microphone on.

"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." She let the vowel carry on and on.

"What are you doing?" War Hawk turned her microphone on and spoke into it.

"Testing it. You want me to test yours?" Shego leaned over.

"Nah, I'm good." War Hawk ripped it away.

"Hello?"

"Hi."

"We're, uh…"

"Going to sing a song."

"Yes, we are going to sing a song."

"And not just any song."

"Nooo."

"We're going to sing an I-Hate-Drakken's-guts song."

"Yay!"

"But I warn you, this song is filled with irony."

"Lots and lots of irony."

"And Shego would never try to kill Drakken, would you?"

"Unless, of course, I have a good reason."

"Let's not give her that reason."

"Let's keep Drakken alive for many years to come."

"So don't fire her because of this song."

"Because then I'd have to kill him."

"And that would not be pleasant."

"There would be daggers and guns and green fire involved."

"Yes, so let's sing this ironic song, shall we?"

"It's called, "Good-bye Drew"."

"Kind of like the Dixie Chick's "Good-bye Earl"."

"But different."

"Yes, so relax."

"Unless you're Drakken."

"Then you might want to listen."

"Here we go, singing this very ironic song called, "Good-bye Drew"." War Hawk started patting out the beat after Shego finished and already to audience looked uneasy.

_**War Hawk**: Shego and War Hawk were the best of friends_

_**Shego**: All through their high school days_

_**War Hawk**: Both ex-members of the 4-H club_

_**Shego**: Both drop outs of ballet_

_After graduation, War Hawk stayed in town_

_Looking for a bright new world_

_**War Hawk**: Shego looked all around this Earth_

_And all she found was Drew_

"I'm scared." Monkey Fist admitted.

"So am I." Drakken whispered back.

_**War Hawk**: Well, it was two weeks after they got together_

_That Shego started getting abused_

_She put on dark glasses and full body suits_

_**Shego**: And make-up to cover a bruise_

_**War Hawk**: Well, she finally got the nerve to call for help_

_She let the law take it from there_

_**Shego**: But Drew walked right through that restraining order_

_**War Hawk**: And put her in intensive care_

"This is ironic." Ron thought out loud.

"There is no way Drakken could beat up Shego."

_**Shego**: Right away, War Hawk flew in from Massachusetts_

_On a red eye midnight flight_

_**War Hawk**: She held Shego's hand as they worked out a plan_

_And it didn't take 'em long to decide_

_**Both**: That Drewbie had to die! (wah na na na na na)_

_Good-bye, Drew_

_Those black-eyed peas_

_They tasted all right to me, Drew_

_You're feeling weak?_

_Why don't you lay down and sleep, Drew?_

_Ain't it dark, wrapped up in that tarp, Drew?_

_**War Hawk**: The cops came by to bring Drew in_

_They searched the lair high and low_

_**Shego**: Then, they tipped their hats and said,_

"_Thank you ladies, if you hear from him let us know."_

_**Both**: Well, the weeks went by and spring turned to summer_

_And summer faded into fall_

_And it turns out he was a missing person_

_Who nobody missed at all_

_**Shego**: So the girls bought some land_

_**War Hawk**: And a road side stand_

_**Shego**: Down on High way 109_

_**War Hawk**: They sell Tennessee ham and_

_**Shego**: Strawberry jam and they don't loose any sleep at night_

_**Both**: 'Cause Drewbie had to die (wah na na na na na)_

_Good-bye, Drew_

_We need a break, let's go out to the lake, Drew_

_We'll pack a lunch _

_And stuff you in the trunk_

_Well, is that alright?_

_Good, let's go for a ride, Drew?_

_Hey, hey (wah na na na na na na)_

_Well, hey, hey, hey (wah na na na na na na)_

_Well, hey, hey, hey_

_Well, hey, hey, hey_

A deaf man could have heard a pin drop in the silence that followed. Drakken's mouth hung open, hoping this was all just a silly song they made up when they were bored and not actually a secret plan to get rid of him. Kim was doing everything in her power not to laugh. It wasn't humanly possible for Drakken to beat up Shego. And Shego bringing in the cops? Ferociously unlikely. And, she wouldn't have tried to hide it if she did kill him. She would probably want credit for it. Shego? Her cheeks were deep crimson.

"Thank you ladies and gentlemen, you were a terrific audience."

"Have a good night, tip your host, and drive safely." The duo ran into the next room and took cover. Drakken was about to blow.

&&&&&&&

Well, everyone is probably wondering why in the song Drakken was beating up Shego. In fact, even Charchee asked me why. First of all, Drew went better with the rhythm of the original song than Shego, not that you can hear the song. I'm not sure if any one even knows the original song, besides Charchee and me (that is reading this). Second, this was an I-Hate-Drakken's-guts song, not an I-Hate-Shego's-guts song. Plus, it was funnier for me to picture Drakken beating up Shego and he's the one who dies in the ending. Any way, many critics are probably thinking, "That's not the night Fear Factor is on." Well, it's a very popular show and is on numerous times on numerous channels. I asked Charchee what night it was on and she just flipped it to a random channel with Fear Factor on it. Hence, Monday night. I'm not sure if banana slugs taste like bananas or not, I myself have never eaten one. Though I'm guessing they don't, looking at the contestant's faces. And I can't think of anything else you can nit-pick at me at this moment, so please review and drop Charchee a message as well. She's waiting anxiously for them.


	6. Messing around and buckling down

Disclaimer: I own who I own, which doesn't include any boys or Kim…or Shego.

Charchee: Remember, candy is dandy but fruit helps you poop.

Shegal92: Thank you for your words of wisdom, Charchee. I'm sorry you didn't want to say anything else to the readers. Sorry that it's been taking me forever to upload. It's a long chapter (to write, at least) and I was on vacation for three weeks. It gets really good in this chapter, I promise. Oh and please review.

The girls lounged on their pillows, obviously their sleeping bags not being an option. They listened as the guys yelled furiously at each other, running up the stairs. They smirked, chuckling at the chaos now unraveling. The laxatives were taking affect.

"Now would be the ideal time to strike." Golden Arrow noted. Shego held up a finger, signaling her to wait a minute, and turned her head towards the stairs.

"Drakken, you better not use my bathroom unless your will's written!" She yelled. They heard a door slam, as though in defiance.

"Apparently he's used to your threats." War Hawk said wryly.

"I'm going to have to use a whole bottle of freshening spray just to make the air breathable again." Shego groaned.

Artica looked at the stairs. They were the main passage to the two other bathrooms, Drakken's and Shego's. The other one on the first floor was probably occupied and had a line. What if…what if they were cut off from the two bathrooms upstairs? What if they only had the other bathroom to go in? She let out a puff of vapor, watching as her visible breath disappeared. She could arrange that easily.

"Shego, did you ever manage to stay on your feet gliding on that ice rail at my lair?" Shego looked questioningly at Artica.

"Not yet, why?" Artica chuckled.

"You'll see. Just follow me, girls."

&&&&&

Kim's mouth dropped open as they stood at the top of the stairs. Artica had iced over the entire staircase! It was thick, too. And smooth, flat as the top of a school desk. Slanting downward and extending almost to the kitchen, it looked like a giant frozen Super Slide without the rubber. Even the rails weren't excluded, glazed as a Krispy Kreme doughnut. No one was coming up…and there was only one way down.

"Only question is who's going first?" Artica looked at Shego. Shego did a mocking bow.

"All yours, genius." Artica mockingly curtsied and approached the ramp. She jumped on and flew down the once-was staircase much faster than Kim had thought she would. She stayed on her feet like a pro, not so much as stumbling even once. She slid about to three quarters of the after ramp and carefully stepped off of the ice. Everyone started clapping and whistling.

"And that, ladies and…ladies, was Artica "the Ice Queen" with the famous "Tarzan of the Ice"." Golden Arrow cupped her hands over her mouth, acting like an announcer.

"Next, we have Mischief "The Great"." Mischief started stretching as War Hawk announced her, hands cupped over her mouth copying Golden Arrow.

"What do you think she'll be doing for us, Joe?"

"Well, I don't know, Bob, she's pretty unpredictable." The girls giggled over their new nicknames. Mischief backed up…and ran forward.

"Tally-ho!" She cried with a British accent. She slid on her stomach all the way down and Kim laughed with everyone else. She looked silly, like a clown or something.

"Looks like someone was feeling like a party animal with "The Penguin"." War Hawk commented.

"Looks like you're right, Bob. Question is; will Shego or Kim be going next?" Kim exchanged glances with Shego.

"Ladies first." Shego said playfully. Kim waved her hands towards the ice slide.

"Be my guest." Shego shook her head.

"Not until you go."

"Somebody better think fast, Joe, or the boys'll catch them…us." Kim strode towards the staircase.

"If you insist." Kim flipped her hair. Shego almost laughed at Kim's pathetic excuse for an attitude. But right as Kim began to try to slide, Monkey Fist turned the corner abruptly.

As expected, the two collided and went sprawling down the slide. Shego stood on the edge of the top, watching as Kim and Monkey Fist tried to untangle themselves and get up. The untangling, easy. The getting up, not so much. Shego laughed as they slipped and slid across the ice, struggling to either get to solid ground or stand up on the ice and skate to solid ground.

"I didn't know that couples were allowed in this competition, Joe."

"Neither did I, Bob, but they do a poor excuse for a log roll." And then, with Shego standing on the edge, Drakken rounded the corner. Shego didn't even know what hit her until she felt a hard thud on her back.

They twisted and turned, trying to regain control. They slid quickly down the ice and Shego's stomach crept into her throat. She lashed out at the ice with her nails, trying to slow them down. She was unsuccessful. She felt them slide evenly now as they slid into the after-ramp. It was over. No, not quite. She found herself on top of Drakken with one of his hands winding around her lower back and one of his legs squeezing the back of her right calf. She had her arms around his neck and was twisted in an uncomfortable position. She instinctively got off as fast as she could, slipping a little on the ice.

"What the heck were you doing?" Drakken accused her, sitting upward. This unbalanced him and he scooted a few inches.

"What was I doing? What were you doing?" Shego attempted to stand but halfway up she fell back down on her bottom.

"Well, Bob, that was a beautiful display of creativity."

"Yeah, Joe, they were really getting into it." Golden Arrow and War Hawk laughed.

"I dare you to come down here and say that to my face!" She yelled. She attempted to ease herself up from a four-legged position, but her feet slid too close to her hands and she fell over. It would be better to crawl to the side, she realized quickly.

"What are you and your little friends trying to do now?" Drakken pursued Shego, crawling behind her.

"We were blocking your passage way to those two bathrooms because you wouldn't stay out of mine!"

"Who's the one who gave us laxatives?"

"Who's the one who gave us bugs?"

"Who's the one who tricked us by having Metaphor morph into my mother?"

"Who's the one who glued our sleeping bags to the ceiling?"

"Who's the one who put a fart machine on me?"

"Who's the one who decided to have a sleepover on the same night as me?"

"Who decided to have a sleepover?" Artica pulled Shego the rest of the way to solid ground and Monkey Fist pulled Drakken the rest of the way to solid ground. The two exchanged looks that said, "This is going to last the rest of the night and into the morning". Shego looked up at the top of the stair case.

"Aren't you guys coming down?" Metaphor looked ready to.

"In a minute, as soon as _my guy_ bumps into me." Metaphor mocked them. Golden Arrow shoved her down instead. She screamed and Golden Arrow hooted with laughter.

"There's your guy!" She called after her. Metaphor glared at her as she came to a halt.

"Hah, hah, you're such a funny girl." Golden Arrow crossed her arms and stood there smirking.

"Just go down already. Your boyfriend Ron's not up here to fall into your arms." War Hawk teased. Golden Arrow playfully hit her.

"I'd much rather have Drakken's beefy cousin." She joked half-heartedly. Like a quarterback tackling the opposing team, who else would round the corner and knock down Golden Arrow at that exact moment. Everyone stood open mouthed as she and Motor Ed came tumbling down the stair case. They slid down, just as tangled as the girls before them. They eventually got to solid ground as well.

"Dude, that was seriously awkward." Motor Ed commented.

"Um, Golden Arrow, you're shaking." Shego tried calm down her friend. Golden Arrow glared at Motor Ed.

"He's not going to wake up tomorrow." She growled. That only left War Hawk standing at the top of the staircase. She crept towards the edge and faced forward.

"Ricky Ullman, Ricky Ullman!" She cheered, glancing behind her back, waiting.

"When pigs fly, Bob." Golden Arrow yelled at her. She shrugged and slid down gracefully.

"Show-off." Shego murmured. Soon, all the other boys had joined them.

"I think I pooped out my intestine." Ron moaned.

"Nothing's coming out for a week." Gemini proclaimed.

"Sorry, Drakken but we plugged up that toilet." Dementor pointed in the direction they had come from.

"We already plugged up the two upstairs." Drakken shrugged it off. Fire burst from Shego's hands.

"Two words; You're dead." Sego stalked off and the rest of the girls followed.

"Two words; As if." Drakken slapped high fives with Killigan.

"That was a good one."

&&&&&

"Whose turn is it for revenge?" Metaphor asked. War Hawk shrugged.

"I don't know. I was hoping you did, Shego?"

"What? Am I like the one with all the answers?"

"Yeah. You're the one who keeps track of this stuff." Shego shrugged.

"Let's just wait for them to make their move. We iced the stair case and all they did is plug up my toilet. Even though what Drakken did was horrible, I'm thinking we did the better thing therefore it's their turn." Everyone nodded, even though a few were still confused.

"So, what the heck are we going to do in the mean time?" Shrugging seemed to be a popular thing, Kim realized.

"Let's do something that girls actually do at sleepovers, not like eating bugs and putting fart machines on people."

"Oh, let's sit around in a circle and share our innermost thoughts." Shego said sarcastically. Oh wait, that was Mischief again. The girls looked at Mischief.

"That actually sounds…interesting." Golden Arrow chose her words carefully. She wasn't sure about this, what if they talked about a subject that was personal to her? She wouldn't know what to say.

"We've got nothing better to do." Shego _did not_ like this idea. There were some things she'd rather take to her grave than admit out loud. And she knew better than to lie to any of these girls. They would eventually find out.

"Okay, so…"

"Um, who is…no…"

"Who was your favorite Disney princess when you were little?" Mischief leapt unafraid into uncertainty, Ron's voice sounding (as usual) so sure of itself. For a minute, they blankly looked at each other, waiting for someone to speak. Who would be the first to answer a semi-embarrassing question?

"Snow White." War Hawk whispered, only heard because of the pin-drop silence.

"Ariel." Golden Arrow smiled as she stared at the ground.

"Aurora." Kim spoke up, surprised she was actually talking.

"Belle." Artica threw out.

"Cinderella!" Mischief cried out in a little girl voice. There was a pause, waiting for the next person to go.

"War Hawk took mine." Metaphor muttered. The group turned to Shego. What would her favorite princess be? Had she even had one? Kim wasn't sure.

"Princess Fiona." They giggled, the tension thinning as Shego made the joke.

"Disney, Shego. Not DreamWorks." War Hawk reminded her. Shego sighed.

"Princess Jasmine." She rolled her eyes. And so, the girls shared their innermost thoughts. All defenses down for the moment.

&&&&&

"What do you think they're doing?" Monkey Fist looked at Drakken.

"Planning revenge, of course." Drakken scoffed.

"But isn't it our turn?" Dementor asked.

"They did the laxative thing and the ice slide thing." Gemini pointed out.

"They were both counters. The laxatives were obviously counters of the Fear Factors 'R Us prank and the ice slide was in response to us plugging up the toilets. It's their turn."

"It makes sense." Killigan noted. Drakken nodded.

"Perfectly. All we need is a spy to hear what the girls are planning." Everyone looked at one another. They nodded. There was an ancient ritual for a decision to be made by several people. They all knew it well.

"One, two, three…not me!" Drakken yelled. Five others yelled, "Not me!" as well. All but one had yelled it.

"What?" Ron, spacing out, had lost the tournament.

"You have to go spy on the girls." Drakken sang mockingly. Pretty much, "You're dead meat."

"No way! They'd eat me alive if they caught me!"

"Then don't get caught." Monkey Fist said simply. Ron moaned. Why always him? He knew better than to argue with his (and Kim's) arch foes, so he hid in the shadows of the hallway. Listening, hoping they would just kill him quickly and painlessly. He was surprised at what he found.

"Okay, I've got one. What was one of the stupidest/embarrassing things you've ever done?" Everyone thought about Artica's question.

"Just one?" Shego asked.

"Yeah, Shego. We don't want you to look too retarded." Artica joked.

"Come back to me. I need to find a good one." Artica looked towards War Hawk.

"I think I've got one. But it's not one of my best goof-ups." War Hawk cleared her throat dramatically.

"Golden Arrow and I were eating at a fast food McDonald's coming home from who knows where. I turn away from my French fries for a few minutes to go get a refill…"

"I remember that!" Golden Arrow tried not to laugh.

"I bet you do. Anyway, I came back and my French fries were gone. I asked her where my fries went and she told me I ate them. I get convinced that I ate them and then she offers me her fires, which are really my stolen fries, but of course I don't know that yet. And I'm all like, "That was nice of you, what a thoughtful friend!" And then she tells me they were mine to begin with."

"They had to pull us out of the play equipment." Everyone giggled.

"That was stupid." Shego commented.

"Not compared to some of the stuff you've done, like eating a packet of salt because a group of kids from school dared you to."

"You took that dare?" Metaphor asked.

"Yeah. That doesn't count for my stupid thing because she said it!"

"Whatever. Who's next?"

"Kim hasn't been talking lately." Golden Arrow smirked at her.

"I don't have one." Kim replied honestly. All the ones she was thinking of Ron had done. Could she fool them?

"So you've never done anything stupid in your whole life?" Kim shook her head.

"Not that I can think of."

"Liar." Kim winced at the word. But it was true.

"Well, it was a while ago…"

"Enough with the dramatics. Just say it!" She wasn't sure if Shego was playing or she was irritated. Probably a mix of both.

"Okay! Once, Ron and I were on a mission and I was disarming a laser and I…" Kim's voice faltered.

"And you what?" War Hawk gently prompted.

"…I somehow twisted it around and hit myself in the head." The girls laughed and Kim blushed faintly. She shouldn't be embarrassed, they probably had worse, but it was still embarrassing.

"Did you get a bump?" Artica asked. Kim wished the floor would swallow her right now.

"Yeah, a nasty one right on the forehead."

"A goose-egg." Shego looked at War Hawk.

"You're so funny." War Hawk stuck out her tongue at Shego.

"Shego, have you thought of yours yet?"

"Should I just do the most recent?"

"Prior to the sleepover."

"Okay, give me just a little bit longer." Artica looked expectantly at Golden Arrow.

"What?"

"You know what." Golden Arrow thought for a minute, looking deeply into space.

"Once I thought four plus eight equaled sixteen. I'm trying to correct my math teacher, telling her four plus eight equaled sixteen. Good thing Shego was never in my math class." Shego smiled, looking like _Yep that's me all right_.

"Who's next?"

"Well, one time I drank out of the toilet to see why dogs do it." The girls followed the rushed words and strange voice to Mischief, her face showing no sign of embarrassment.

"Please tell me nothing was in there but toilet water." Mischief nodded her head eagerly.

"Roger rat, Rar Rawk." No one needed to say whose famous talking dog voice that was.

"This is probably a let down after the intriguing toilet story…" Mischief puffed up her chest, not noticing the sarcasm in Metaphor's voice.

"…but one time I morphed into a guy in his briefs in the middle of the mall." Artica suddenly burst into loud laughter.

"I saw that from the electronics store! That was you?" She calmed herself down. Metaphor however wasn't happy with Artica.

"Okay, then. What's yours?" She snapped.

"Geez, Metaphor. Down girl." Shego looked at Metaphor strangely. She wasn't the only one surprised by Metaphor's sudden snapping.

"Sorry, just a little edgy. We may have a tag along in the building." The villainesses nodded, but Kim felt excluded once again. What were they talking about?

"Anyway, Artica's got the floor."

"I was just going to tell about the time I couldn't figure out how to unlock my car and finally some employee from who knows where pops up and helps me." She shrugged.

"Okay, Shego. Are you finally ready?" They all looked at her. She smiled.

"I've got one that'll make the French fry one look normal."

"But will it be better than the toilet one?"

"Probably not, but I will try. I got up early as usual but didn't feel like getting dressed. Mistake one. I decided to train a little bit before breakfast in the gym. Mistake two. Third mistake, I used my fire while training. Keep that all in mind. Oh and Drakken was surprisingly awake. Keep that in mind, too. So I'm slashing targets and thinking no big whoop, until I missed the target. My follow-through, well followed through and I caught my pajama bottoms on fire."

"I take it these aren't the flame-resistant kind?"

"Shut up, Kim." Kim knew she couldn't have missed the giggle and smile after Shego had said that.

"Anyway, so I'm sitting there with my pajama bottoms on fire and the first thing I think of is the stop, drop, and roll method they teach us in like kindergarten. So as I'm rolling, my sleeve catches on fire. Don't ask me how or why it didn't catch on fire first. And so I'm screaming, my weird life flashing before my eyes, and who else but Drakken comes in and sees me on fire. He freaks out, yelling the "s" word lauder than I've ever heard it been yelled before. He runs down, telling me he'll put it out. Well I can't just wait for him as the fire creeps closer to my hair which is attached to my head. Eventually, I freak out and go running at the door. Drakken opens that door and hits me hard in the head. I go sprawling across the floor and he dumps a bucket on ice cold water on me. The fire's put out, burnt half of my pajamas, and I've got a bloody nose from the force of the door opening. So it was both stupid and embarrassing." Shego smiled sheepishly.

"Wow, I think that beat my math one." Golden Arrow sustained a laugh.

"It beats my unlocking-the-car one by a mile." Artica smirked.

"Right up there with drinking out of the toilet, being tricked into believing you've eaten your French fries when instead someone stole them and hitting yourself in the head with a laser." Metaphor looked at Kim. Kim diverted her eyes from Metaphor' strange cat ones. She was having a great time, but it was still hard to be around villains (or villainesses) all the same.

"Who has another question for us?"

"I do!" War Hawk said energetically, yet still meekly.

"What song would best represent you and why?" The girls sorted through all the songs they had ever heard, trying to find the one that represented them most.

"Shego goes first this time. She's been last with every question so far."

"Just give me a minute, gosh!" They all waited anxiously for Shego's pick.

"Can I have two?"

"If you have to."

"My first one would be that one country song, I can't remember who sings it. "Don't Ask Me How I know", that should be my anthem right there. But with verses about messing around with doomsday weapons and fighting mutants." Shego laughed.

"I heard that song yesterday. Yeah, I think you can relate to the line about not punching your best friend in the nose _when you know she didn't mean it_!" War Hawk teased Shego.

"Really I think you're more of Tim McGraw's "Can't Tell Me Nothin'". Shego mockingly hit Artica.

"I'm afraid of number two." Metaphor shivered, but she was out of Shego's grasp.

"Number two would have to be "Reflection", the pop version." Shego said more seriously. "Reflection", wasn't that the song from Mulan? About being who you really are? Kim was so sick of being as confused as Ron with Japanese directions on how to assemble a robot. No one made any comment, so Shego continued.

"Sometimes I'll just look in the mirror and glance backwards, looking for the person that the mirror was reflecting. And then I'll realize it was me. I can really relate to the part about wearing a mask. It just seems that way sometimes. Whose turn is it next?"

"I'll go, before everyone takes the good ones." War Hawk spoke up.

"I think "Breakaway" would be my song. I was so tired of being where I was at, that I finally just left. Now I've got my own apartment and a full time job, but I don't regret a thing. I don't know where the rest of my life will take me, hence the "I don't know where they'll take me" line, but it had to be better than where I was at. I broke away."

"I think you can also relate to the line about spreading your wings and learning how to fly." War Hawk searched Shego's face for sarcasm, but there wasn't any.

"I'll go next." Golden Arrow spoke up.

"I think Toby Keith's "Do I Know You (Bottom of My Heart)" from his "How Do You like Me Now!" cd. There were some…people I ran into yesterday and I swore I knew them from somewhere. But I, unlike the song, realized that they were my…" Golden Arrow couldn't finish her sentence. She felt like she was swallowing a knife, remembering the incident. She had said too much.

"…My birth parents." She croaked.

"Did they recognize you?" Shego asked, sincerely concerned. Golden Arrow shook her head.

"No, thankfully. Plus, I've been brain-washed so many freaking times the police could arrest me for a crime I had no clue I did. I know it's to protect me, but it's so…frustrating. All I want to do is "breakaway"." No one laughed at the joke. Everyone knew what she was talking about, except Kim. Always excepting Kim. But she did feel there was a very serious issue with Golden Arrow. One that she probably didn't want to talk about openly.

"Let's lighten up this down air." Even Golden Arrow smiled as Mischief tried desperately to lighten up the "down air" with a bright and cheerful voice. Was that Mischief's own voice? No, that was from some preschool show. But like Kim would know that.

"My favorite song would be Shedaisy's "Don't Worry 'Bout a Thing" because at least I view myself as a very optimistic person. I hardly worry about anything that I can remember and I love making people laugh." Mischief sound like Kim, which just made her more upset. She forgot to mention she liked to make fun of other people.

"That sounds just about right." Artica nodded her head.

"What's yours, Artica?"

"Hm, it's hard to say. I think I'll go with "Home wrecker" because I'm trying to get over something very devastating that has happened."

"You caught some prettier girl flirting with your boyfriend." Kim knew the song. Gretchen Wilson was an awesome singer. Artica stared at Kim like she was an idiot. Maybe Kim might have jumped to conclusions.

"No, my older brother married a witch two months ago and I'm still trying to get over it. Plus the fact that apparently now they're expecting and all my so-called friends won't stop calling me Aunt Artica." Shego snickered.

""What was once a villainess' name is now a continent." She murmured.

"Oh." Was all Kim could say. Maybe she shouldn't try to guess about them any more.

"I guess it's my turn." Metaphor shrugged.

"Mine would be, oh crud you guys are going to make fun of me."

"No, we aren't." War Hawk shook her head.

"Speak for yourself." Shego grinned maliciously.

"You think you're so evil, but you're not." Dr. Drakken's voice, but not exactly his body.

"Be careful with your voices, Mis. You don't know whose listening." Though Metaphor was only joking, Ron quivered in the hallway. He should just walk back and say they're sharing their innermost thoughts. Nah, then they'd all be in crowding in the hall. And personally, he was having fun spying on the girls.

"My song would be "Come Clean" by Hilary Duff. Mostly because I'm still trying to accept myself and get others to accept me, too. I can change into anyone I want to, but I'd still rather be myself. But no one's ready to accept a scaly mutant like me, so I'm forced to be something I'm not." Metaphor concluded. Now everyone was staring at Kim, waiting.

"The last song, dun, dun, dun!" War Hawk teased.

"Do I really have to?" She had a song in mind, but did she really want to say why she felt that way?

"Kim, a word of advice. You do not want to lie to these girls, trust me on this." Trust me on this? What, was Shego suddenly her buddy?

"No offense, but what are they really going to do to me?" Kim instantly regretted saying that. The way they looked at her she kept expecting one of them to say, "Do you dare doubt the power of the villainesses?"

"They slit my stomach open and played with my intestines while I was still conscious." Kim's mouth dropped open.

"It was only Tigress and me, but still it happened." Kim couldn't believe Golden Arrow would do that to Shego.

"Hey, in my defense Shego lied about not having a crush. It was a long time ago and I'm not the one who cam up with the idea. Though it was weird watching you throw up from the inside out."

"I wouldn't have puked if A. Tigress hadn't shown me things I did not want to see and B. You had at least knocked me out."

"I'd much rather hear Kim's song than discuss who was at fault with the stomach slitting incident of whatever year." War Hawk squirmed.

"I agree with War Hawk. Please Kim, can you say anything?" Artica's already pale blue skin was getting even paler.

"Thank you, Shego for your words of wisdom. My song would have to be "Over it" by Anneliese van der Pol." There was silence. Kim wouldn't have to explain, would she? Two, maybe three minutes passed before Shego finally said something.

"Why is that your pick?" Kim was foolish to think they would let her slide.

"I don't want to say why." She muttered.

"C'mon, Kim. We won't make fun of you." Metaphor encouraged her.

"We're not going to tell anyone what you say or what anyone has said." Shego promised.

"What's said in the circle; stays in the circle." War Hawk, no wait Mischief again, confided.

"Okay, I guess. It's just, sometimes I feel like I can't escape. From school…from saving the world. Like it says in the song, I'm carrying the weight of the world. Sometimes, I just want to run away from it all. Just, get in a car and drive until the gas runs out." Kim looked away. She knew they were giving her sympathetic looks. How could they possibly know what it was like, they were villains! Except Shego. She had been there, done that…but failed in the end.

"It's fun when you start out, all the going to different countries on school nights and kicking evil butt. Soon, though it all gets old. You've got school, and villains, and the scraps of social life you have left. You try so hard to put it all together again. Your schedule cramps and you can't have a minute to relax without something demanding your attention. It's then you just want to scream, I'm not a hero I'm a teen for cripe's sake! But no one hears you. You're the one everyone turns to, but they don't understand even heroes fall." Kim looked up at Shego. It was like Kim's thoughts were coming out of Shego's mouth.

"Being a teenage villain isn't exactly a life of luxury, either. Sure it's cool you get freebies, but then you realize everyone has a conscious. Try mixing it with school and an after school job and pretty soon you're ready to break down and cry." The girl's nodded at Metaphor's words.

"Sometimes you're forced to be who you aren't. Like pretend you're a bird maniac when all you want to do is grab them around their skinny little necks and strangle them. Or pretend you absolutely hate your best friend. Or hide the picture of your crush because he's a super hero and…it's all just a big mess." War Hawk sighed.

"Sometimes, people put pressure on you. Like you're a bad person if you don't do a certain thing. They crush your own dreams so that you can't think about anything else. Sometimes you just want to turn around and punch them, but if they're someone you love you can't." Artica stared off into space.

"Sometimes, you're just trying to find your place in the world. If you don't belong, you're kicked out. It's that simple. There are few occupations where I can be my true self. There was already a whole team of super heroes, so I tried the other side. I needed to find some way to support my younger sister if I want to keep us together. And so, here I am." Metaphor shrugged.

"Sometimes, you're just trying to find who you are. I don't have my own voice. I have to use someone else's. For a girl who wants to be as much as an individual as me, that's a nightmare. I dyed my hair purple, for crying in the sink! I've found friends who like me the way I am. For most of the time, I'm annoying. But they're still my friends. I can't just walk away from that. I want to hear people say; now that's an amazing person. And how many more options are there for a copycat?" Mischief borrowed Kim's voice, but she didn't care this time. There was a pause and finally Golden Arrow had the courage to speak up.

"Sometimes, you owe them one because they saved your life. Like, something was destroying you from the inside out and you couldn't take it any more and…almost go to way desperate measures. But they save you and they force you to do horrible things, worse than just petty thievery. Like, don't freak out when I say this…murder. And every time I do that thing, I get brain washed so I don't try to stop the people responsible for my actions. The scary thing is not knowing what I've done or anything. I remember if I went to the mall with War Hawk or something, but I have no clue who I've killed. But if I run away, they'll just come after me. I can't escape." Kim looked into Golden Arrow's eyes. She was so nice; she had so much to offer. But she was locked inside.

"Let's get off this subject." Mischief declared, her voice sounding like Tara's. But she had never met Tara. Hm…

"Let's try a positive topic…like boys!" Squeals erupted in the group. Now that was a topic even Kim could join in on.

"Shego can't join in this conversation because her last boyfriend was a syntho-drone!" Metaphor teased.

"So was Kim's!" Shego objected.

"But she didn't know that until he knocked her out." War Hawk pointed out.

"I didn't know either until Drakken caught me kissing him." Everyone stared open-mouthed at Shego.

"You kissed a syntho-drone?" Artica arched a brow.

"Again, I did not know it was a syntho-drone!"

"What did you think it was, some surfer from California? Drakken was working with syntho-drones, not models."

"I just figured it was a cuter hench man."

"Yeah, Drakken's going to get another guy for you to drool over. You know he gets jealous easily.

"What's your point?"

"You kissed a syntho-drone, Kim didn't, you fought over the same guy who isn't even real, Drakken has a crush on your, and "the Supreme One" sounds like a pizza and not a royal title."

"Shut up, Aunt Artica."

"Call me that again and I'll…"

"Ladies, ladies. We haven't even discussed crushes yet and we're fighting." Golden Arrow cut in.

"She does have a point."

"Too many points! Only one grand prize!" Kim stared at Shego.

"Don't worry. She does that a lot when she's confused." War Hawk leaned over and whispered.

"Okay, who wants to start?" Shego spoke up, tired of being on the loosing end.

"I have a boyfriend, I don't count!" War Hawk announced.

"Yes and some things are better left unsaid." Shego hinted. The girls caught her drift and started on Kim.

"So, Kim. Who do you like?"

"No one."

"Kimmi, no lying. You have to like someone."

"Is it your friend-that's-a-boy Ron?" Artica beamed at her mockingly. Ron's heart pounded so hard he was sure they could hear it.

"No, it's this other guy."

"Josh?" Shego teased.

"I'm so over Josh. His name's…" Kim saw the opportunity for a joke.

"…Drew Lipsky."

"But that's Shego's crush." Shego hit War Hawk playfully.

"You know that Stan the Man's the only guy worthy of me." She said.

"Wait, who's this "Stan the Man"?" Mischief questioned, her voice mimicking James Bond.

"The only man worthy of me; weren't you paying attention?" War Hawk covered Shego's mouth.

"Our waiter from Outback Steak House in Orlando." War Hawk explained, letting her hand slip for the moment.

"He is the finest man I've ever seen and an honor to his gender!" War Hawk covered her mouth again.

"She has a hunch that he likes her back because he called her "Hon"." War Hawk removed her hand completely.

"I'm convinced he needs me." Shego grinned.

"I'll believe that." Metaphor smirked.

"I have a question for Miss Arrow and I will only take the honest truth." Shego went off the subject.

"Sure, what?" Shego exchanged glances with the others. Only Artica and War Hawk got it.

"If you lie, I have the right to inflict whatever revenge I think is fitting."

"Okay, thought I'm not sure what you're talking about." Shego did a dramatic pause.

"Do you or do you not…like Ron Stoppable?" Another set of squeals arose.

"No lying!" War Hawk mocked. Golden Arrow looked at them, mouth open.

"I…I…I didn't expect this to arise again." She finally admitted.

"Please. You know we were going to try to find out eventually." Golden Arrow nodded.

"But this is so soon."

"Just say whether or not you like him. We'll tell if you're lying or not." Shego tilted Golden Arrow's head so that their eyes locked.

"Do you or do you not like Ron Stoppable?" It's very hard to lie when someone is staring directly into your eyes.

"I…I…I like him, okay? Are you happy now?" Golden Arrow broke away, her cheeks flushed.

"He's just so nice and sweet and funny and so different from other guys. He's not afraid to be himself and isn't embarrassed about hanging out with a girl-whose-a-friend." Ron had to remind himself to breathe. She did like him! She did, she did, she did!

"I've never seen you so…gushy over a guy before." Shego said.

"You haven't so much as ever had a crush on a guy before." War Hawk noted.

"And now, you're all over this buffoon?" Shego questioned. Kim had never seen someone blush as hard as Golden Arrow was now doing.

"You can't have this guy." Artica announced.

"Why not?" Golden Arrow glared at her. She hesitated for a moment, not sure whether to speak or not. She decided to, it needed to be known.

"Because I claimed him first." Artica muttered. Kim was shocked. Two girls starting to fight…over Ron? They couldn't mean _her_ Ron.

"You did, but I didn't have a crush on him then."

"And suddenly, you do. But I still called him first."

"It didn't count!"

"Yeah it did!"

"Girls, girls. You're both wrong, if you want to get technical." Golden Arrow and Artica looked at Shego.

"I called him before you guys knew him, if you want to get technical."

"So you do like him! Ha! I knew it!"

"I don't now, but you guys are getting so nitpicky."

"Shego and Ronald, sitting in a tree…"

"Shut up!" Metaphor, who had stayed out of the catfight, now turned to Mischief.

"And how do you feel about him?" Mischief looked blankly at Metaphor.

"He's cute, but I don't think he likes me." Mischief answered maybe a little too loudly in Kim's voice. Kim, confused and slightly frustrated, turned to War Hawk.

"Do you want to admit you like my BFF, too?" War Hawk shook her head.

"I have a boyfriend, remember?" But just as suddenly as it had begun they stopped fighting. In fact, they stopped talking altogether. Even their breathing shallowed as they looked towards the hallway entrance. Shego pointed at Mischief while she was still fixed to the spot and Mischief continued the conversation, using all of their voices at once.

And then, Kim heard it. A footstep, only one. Someone had been spying on them and had heard what they had said about Ron. Silently, the girls went to their backpacks and pulled out coils of rope and a handkerchief. War Hawk picked up her pillow and they all slowly went towards the hallway. Keeping in a blind spot where whoever was in the hall couldn't see them, they crept towards the entrance. Shego motioned for Kim to come with them. She ran silently to them, Mischief staying behind and keeping up a fight on who had dibs on Ron first. War Hawk gave Kim the pillow.

"Secure it." Shego breathed, pointing towards the floor. Kim kneeled down and held the pillow down. Shego counted to three and all the rest of the villainesses raced into the hallway with the coils of rope and the handkerchief. Before Kim knew what was happening, a boy was thrown into the pillow. So that's why she was told to secure it. And then she realized it was Ron, bound and gagged like only a professional could do. The girls came back, hands on hips.

"Well, well, well what do we have here?" Shego glared at the shaking Ron.

"I'd say a spy." Artica growled.

"Really? Because I see a hostage." Golden Arrow smirked. Ron was dragged to the circle of pillows.

"What should we do with him?" War Hawk asked, sneering at Kim's BFF. Kim had to admit though; this time he had done it to himself.

"I don't know. I say we let Shego decide." Shego grinned evilly down at Ron.

"I say we get a little competition going between us and the boys." Shego walked away and down the hall. She emerged back at the boy's camp, where the boys were surprised.

"Shego?" Drakken asked. She gave him a beckoning finger and he followed into the center of the hall.

"A spy?" She asked.

"Clever, no?" Drakken smirked. Shego shifted her weight.

"I admit, clever. Foolish, but clever. But you better promise to take those secrets to your grave. How long has he been there?"

"He's been there since you girls began planning. He knows all about your little scheme."

"What scheme? We were sharing out innermost thoughts, you are the ones planning another prank." Drakken's uni-brow furrowed closer together.

"But it's your turn."

"I think you're a little confused, Dr. D. It's the boys' turn." Dr. Drakken shook his head.

"We were obviously confused by the lack of clarity of whose prank was coming next."

"I wasn't." Shego muttered. Drakken groaned quietly.

"Whatever. Point is; where is the buffoon now?" Shego smirked.

"With my girls, bound and gagged. Or you could say he's being held hostage." Drakken glared at her, sizing up the worth of the buffoon and Shego's unsaid demands.

"What do you want?" Shego studied her nails, trying her hardest not to laugh.

"Nothing. Just a healthy competition, that's all. You can pick the game, but if you loose we're keeping the buffoon." Shego took her eyes off her nails again and looked at Drakken's face. He was interested.

"What do we get if we win?"

"You get the buffoon, in exchange for the formula needed to get our sleeping bags off of the ceiling."

"So, either way you win?"

"Nothing gets past you. So, what game are we playing?" Drakken pretended he was thinking about it, but he knew exactly what game _he_ wanted to play.

"Are you familiar with the game of Blackmail?" He said slyly.

"Yes, I believe I am. See you in ten." Shego turned around towards her end, but first Drakken caught a glimpse of the other side. Shego wasn't bluffing, the buffoon was right there. Drakken knew he'd kick some Shego booty…as soon as he figured out how to play the game.

Eager girls waited as Shego came back.

"What's up?" War Hawk asked, noticing Shego's pleased expression.

"Prepare, girls, because in ten minutes we're going to play Blackmail against the boys." The girls smiled, as well as Shego. This was going to be great! And our friend in the shadows was just as thrilled. She loved this game.

&&&&&&

Oooh, Ron has quite a lot of secrets about the girls. But they don't help him now that he's all bound up and everything. Shego and Drakken are facing off in a game of Blackmail in ten minutes…but Drakken has no clue how to play! How is that going to affect anything? Guess you'll have to wait until next chapter. I can't say for sure when it will be up but I'm already working on the next chapter and I'm working hard on it. Please review in the meantime.


	7. Blackmail Attack

Disclaimer: I own who I own, which doesn't include any boys or Kim…or Shego.

Charchee: Shegal92 and I are having an awesome time making up Blackmail for this. It's at times a little complicated but very funny. Hope you enjoy this chapter.

Shegal92: Yeah, Charchee, it's been lots of fun making up Blackmail for each person. Some of you still might be wondering what Blackmail is. Well, let's just let the girls tell you that part. As Charchee said, hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.

&&&&&

Ron watched as the girls fetched tapes from their backpacks. What were they doing? Even Kim had brought a tape. Ouch, the ropes around his wrists really dug into his skin. They sure weren't very gentle with their crushes, but they were villainesses. Who knew he'd strike it rich with the evil chicks? There were two for-sure girls fighting over him and one maybe. Who would have guessed Shego had dibs on him? But which girl would he choose? Not Shego, that's a no-brainer. Nothing more awkward than having your arch foe's assistant as your girlfriend. Especially if Kim's, well Kim-ness had anything to do with it. His best idea was to not choose before he had to, get to know them, and enjoy watching them catfight. But from what he had watch on "Pals" and "Agony County", he'd have to choose sooner or later. Hopefully later.

&&&&&

"So, what is this game called again?" Monkey Fist brought out the tape Drakken had told him to bring. He had made sure it was embarrassing, but so far he didn't see why it needed to be.

"It's called Blackmail." Drakken explained.

"And how do you play?" Killigan looked at the tape in his hand and sighed. Any game that involved an embarrassing home video couldn't be good.

"I don't really know." Drakken confessed.

"THEN WHY'D YOU PICK THE STUPID GAME?" Dementor yelled.

"Because…because I'm trying to impress Shego!" The room went dead silent after Drakken's outburst. Drakken rethought what he had said.

"No wait, that came out wrong…" Drakken began to panic as they kept staring at him. Beads of sweat began to form on his eyebrow. This was not the place for a slip of tongue.

"Dude, why didn't you tell me I was like, hitting on your babe? I would have stopped, seriously I would've." Pink spots emerged from blue skin and his small hands curled into fists.

"Shego's not my girl. It is a strictly business relationship."

"Sure, uh huh. Whatever you say."

"You don't know what you're talking about. She is the hardest person on this planet to please and is always saying something cruel."

"You do love a challenge."

"Oh please. I'm twice her age. It'd probably be illegal _if_ we were hooked up."

"What do you care about being legal, you're a super villain. Plus, she's not a minor making it perfectly legal for her to love whomever she pleases. Meaning you."

"I'm telling you she'd rather have my head on a silver platter than go out with me."

"She had a romantic dinner with you that one time."

"She was under the influence of an emotion chip thing."

"She was in love."

"Would you rather me lie and say I LOVE SHEGO?" Looking across from the kitchen, Drakken saw Shego collapse to the ground.

"I have a feeling she only heard the last three words."

"Shut up, monkey man."

&&&&&

Mere minutes later, the girls assembled into the boy's room. Shego came in first, with Metaphor and Mischief trailing behind. Shego and War Hawk stood in front of Drakken, with the other girls facing the other boys.

"What was that about?" Shego hissed.

"What?"

"Declaring that you loved me?"

"It's a long story. Long story short, they made me say it." Shego contented herself with this answer. It was either that, or… she felt her nerves spaz.

"So, are you ready for defeat to shove you face first in the ground?" Shego folded her arms and War Hawk mimicked her.

"Depends. Are you ready to eat your words with a side order of shame?" Drakken smirked.

"Let's just wait and see." War Hawk snickered.

"What was that?" Shego turned to her.

"My evil snicker." She answered.

"You don't evilly snicker. They call it an evil laugh for a reason."

"Maybe I can't evilly laugh. Maybe I'm evilly laughed handicapped." Pause.

"You are the strangest human being I have ever had the pleasure of knowing."

"Right back at you." Shego turned back to Drakken.

"First, we need a viewing screen and a VCR." Drakken snapped his fingers and Motor Ed brought out one. He hooked it into an outlet. Drakken whipped out a remote, flashed it at Shego, and pressed the button. A huge screen slowly came down from the ceiling and a few of the guys backed up.

"Wow, never had Blackmail on a big screen before." Artica noted. They stood there for a minute or so. Finally, Monkey Fist flat out asked.

"How do you play Blackmail?" The girls exchanged confused glances. They didn't know how to play Blackmail? But it was only the greatest game in the history of villainy! How could any villain _not_ know how to play? Maybe the guys were more clueless than they had thought. Shego rolled her eyes.

"The object of the game is to…"

"…humiliate yourself." Golden Arrow cut in, stepping in front of Shego. Shego shot her a questioning look, but said nothing.

"It's a chance to laugh at yourself and the silly things you've done, right Shego?" Golden Arrow glanced at her. _Trust me, _she mouthed, _I know what I'm doing_. Shego chewed on the information…and something clicked together.

"Yeah, that's it." Shego nodded her head and felt a kick in the shin. She spun around to face War Hawk.

"That's not Blackmail." She whispered.

"Blackmail's when you embarrass the other people." Shego saw Drakken looking questioningly at them from the corner of her eye.

"No, that's the other game we play. Blackmail's totally different." War Hawk caught on.

"Oh yeah, that's right. I was thinking of that other game." Shego turned back to Drakken and spread her tapes out like a magician with his deck of cards.

"Are we ready?" Drakken hoped he'd have the courage to laugh at himself. And so, they approached the VCR.

"Something's not right." Monkey Fist murmured to Gemini.

"You've got that right. Did you see how confused they all were when Golden Arrow said that?"

"It didn't look planned. Like a last minute twist of fate." Gemini looked at Monkey Fist.

"I don't know what War Hawk whispered, but it was something about another game. And I'm thinking what was actually the other game is this game."

"Drakken's going to get his butt handed to him if that's the case." Drakken and Shego stood toe to toe, tapes in hand. War Hawk stood before them, looking like a referee.

"Here's how this will work. You each get three turns to show one tape. Whoever has the most embarrassing tapes win. No trading at any time for any reason. Be free to laugh as loud and hard as you want. We'll flip a coin to see who goes first." War Hawk pulled a coin from her pocket.

"Call it, Shego." Drakken said nervously. War Hawk gave Shego a motion only she or another villainess could understand.

"Heads, let it fall." Shego proclaimed. The coin was tossed into the air. They watched as it flipped over and over, slowly coming back down to the ground. The quarter spun on its rim, tilted, and made a decision. War Hawk, Shego, and Drakken all leaned down. The rest held their breath.

"Tails, Drakken goes first." War Hawk and Shego arose, but Drakken stayed down.

"Is that an Oregon quarter, because I've been looking for that one…" War Hawk slid it out of Drakken's grasp.

"No, it's just a regular quarter."

"Too bad." Drakken browsed the tapes in his hand. He had several of himself…and one of Shego. Thankfully, they were clearly labeled. He popped one in and him and Shego backed up to watch it.

Snickers already arose as the camera showed Drakken in…a leotard. There was no tutu, but there were ballet slippers on his feet. He strode around, twisting and turning gracefully. There was no mistaking the swift ballet music in the background or that it was a dance studio. They all came to one conclusion; Drakken had taken ballet.

"That's my Drewbie! He's going to steal the spotlight!" And there was absolutely no mistaking the female voice behind the camera as Drakken's mother. Everyone laughed, but Drakken laughed hardest of all. He felt like a burden had been lifted since his secret was now out in the open. The tape ended abruptly. Shego ejected Drakken's tape and tossed it to him.

"That's going to be hard to beat." She murmured but smirked when her back was turned to everyone. Golden Arrow was a genius! She pushed her own in and returned back to her spot on the floor next to her opponent.

Shego watched as she stared into the camera lens. She was giggling as the doorbell rang in the background.

"Little does he know." She said ominously.

"Drakken! It's for you!" Drakken appeared in the background, but Shego still was closer to the camera. There was an opening of a door and then a little girl's voice piped up.

"Sir, we heard from an anonymous source you wanted to buy some Pixie Scout muffins?" Shego smirked.

"Um, excuse me ladies but I never wanted any…"

"Sir, we're a very busy troop. Can you just buy the muffins so we can go on our way?"

"You must've heard wrong because I don't want any muffins." A girl grabbed him by the collar and got his face a few inches away from hers.

"Buy the muffins." She let go.

"I'm not going to buy any muffins; I already bought them from the last troop." There was a moment of silence and Shego looked over her shoulder.

"Pixie Scouts, attack!" A group of six or more eight year girls charged at Drakken, knocking him over.

"Shego!" He screamed. Shego just laughed.

"This is Shego, living a slow death inside the lair of Dr. Drakken. Over and out." The screen went blue after the on-camera Shego turned it off. A few people dared to laugh. Drakken looked at Shego.

"What was that about, living a slow death inside the lair of Dr. Drakken?"

"Something dramatic to say." Monkey Fist cleared his throat.

"Shego, would you mind explaining why it was an embarrassing tape of Drakken instead of yourself?" Shego looked at Golden Arrow. They had forgotten not all of the villains were as stupid as Drakken.

"She was there the whole time, right in front of the camera. She was the main object, the camera just happened to show Drakken getting stampeded over by a troop of Pixie Scouts." War Hawk barely finished her statement before giggling.

"Either way, it's Drakken's turn again." Drakken ejected the tape and put in his own, setting Shego's on top of the VCR. He was more skeptical this time. Her video had been embarrassing for him, not her.

Four boys stood among various strange instruments. Kim immediately recognized her father, Drakken (when he was still Drew Lipsky), and Professor Chen. It took Kim a minute to recognize Professor Ramesh but maybe that was because he was wearing an ugly neon green wig.

"One, two, three, four!" James Possible counted off, rocking the microphone stand so hard it nearly fell over. Drew started playing his tuba and Bob Chen started banging the heck out of his bongo drums. Ramesh clanged two garbage can lids together, acting like they were…symbols? Meanwhile, James was strumming on the fake guitar he had gotten last week from the dollar store.

"La la la, laaa la laaaaa, la la laaaa." James belted out. The band stopped.

"Dude, that's not the song we wrote." Bob put down his bongo drums.

"I, um, forgot the song at home."

"Don't worry, I memorized it!" Drew put down his tuba and grabbed the mike.

"Ooooooh yeah! I'm your basic average guy and I'm here to save your life. You can't stop me because I'm Da Booomb. There is nothing I can't do and when danger comes…"

"Drew! You're not the lead singer. How many times do I have to tell you that?" James grabbed back the microphone.

"You're good at the tuba. Stick to that!"

"Fine, but when we take our band to Nashville they're going to say, "Why can't the charming tuba player be the lead singer?""

"Because you stink!"

"He knows the song. Why can't he be the lead singer just to practice?" A teenage girl asked from behind the camera.

"Because I don't know how to play the tuba!"

"Just one more chance!"

"No!"

"And if you're going to be our manager, you have to be as little involved as possible."

"Whatever." The video went blank.

"We almost were famous until we sang that song. They told us to take it to Disney and that the tuba would be hard to pack in the tour bus." Golden Arrow looked at Drakken.

"Out of curiosity, what was the name of that song?"

"Fax me, Page me (the Guy Song), why?" War Hawk turned to Shego.

"That was your mom behind the video camera, wasn't it?" Shego looked at War Hawk.

"Maybe." Shego got up, ejected Drakken's tape, and inserted her own. This one wasn't one of her bests, but if Drakken didn't catch on soon she'd practically sleep her way to victory.

The camera was in night vision in a dark room. Judging by the slick brick walls, the simple cots, the iron bars, and the baggy jumpsuits Shego and Drakken were wearing, they were in prison. Shego sat giggling over Drakken, a pen in her hand. A loud snore made the on-screen Shego jump, but she relaxed. She quickly started scribbling a message on the back of his jump suit careful not to wake him.

She finished, closing the cap on the pen and standing up. Not a minute too soon, for Drakken was starting to wake up. He sat up, yawned, and stretched his arms out as far as they'd go. Scratching his butt shamelessly, he looked at Shego. The pen was hidden behind her back.

"Prison food sucks." He muttered, standing up. With his back to the camera they could now read what it said in permanent marker on his orange jump suit. Shego had written in all capitals in bold letters, "WILL RANT FOR WORLD".

"Good morning, Dr. Drakken." Shego said. He stared at her.

"What did you do to me?" The tape was cut short. Drakken looked at Shego, his expression priceless. Shego smiled nervously.

"I was bored out of my ever-loving mind. It was either that or kill something."

"You could have just asked me for the word search book."

"I'll never surrender." Monkey Fist crawled over to Shego and Drakken, all four paws on the floor.

"Again, that was an embarrassing tape of Drakken. Not you." War Hawk shoved Monkey Fist out of her spot like he had done to her.

"Please, the embarrassment was so obvious." War Hawk flashed Shego a helpless look. The jig was up and they were caught red-handed. Shego flashed her a look of determination. _It isn't over yet_, it seemed to say.

"I think there's something you girls aren't telling us." Gemini stared Golden Arrow down. She got back up with twice the intensity. Eventually, he broke away. She smiled at her minor victory. Ron's eyes locked with Kim's and guilt overwhelmed her. His fate lay in the hands of Drakken who didn't have a clue what he was doing, and they were cheating. Well, they were criminals.

Ron knew that look. Kim was guilty of something and her face was proof enough. So this wasn't how they played Blackmail! He had to tell Drakken, but how? Gemini and Monkey Fist were already subtly trying to clue him in on the girl's cheating. And now he was going to be stuck with them for maybe the rest of the night! Hmm, cute girls or arch foes? This might not be so bad after all…

"Drakken, can I speak to you privately?" Monkey Fist pulled him away before he could answer. He practically dragged Drakken to the middle of the hall and spun him around.

"Something's just not right!" He exclaimed.

"Got that right. How do you get video clips from a high security prison?"

"No, not that! Think about it. Though the videos have Shego in them they're embarrassing for you."

"War Hawk did say the most embarrassing tapes would win…"

"They're cheating! They're trying to keep the buffoon! Not far!"

"It isn't over yet. We can still win…if you have an embarrassing video of Shego." An evil grin slowly worked its way up Drakken's face.

"She'll wet herself, it's so embarrassing." They rushed back to the girls. They sat calmly, as though nothing was wrong.

"We've figured out your ingenious plot Shego. You were cheating the whole time! It's not about embarrassing yourself; it's about embarrassing your opponent." War Hawk glared at Shego. _Told you it was over, _she mouthed.

"Gee, you caught me. What humiliating thing do you have, me singing karaoke?" Just keep calm, Shego told herself. What thing could he possibly whip up of her?

It didn't take long for Shego's childhood to flash on the screen. There she was, peeking out from her corner. She was giggling like the age she was…three and a half years old. Oh no, oh no. Shego sank a little from her confident position. How the heck could he have gotten this tape? She had kept it under lock and key.

"And now we have Shego…" The toddler peeked out angrily form behind the wall.

"Aqua Lass." She insisted. Oh no, here it came.

"And now we have _Aqua Lass_ performing the Nakie Girl Dance." With that, Shego's mother sealed her fate. Shego jumped out butt naked, still wet from her bath, and started hopping around. How did Drakken figure out how to get a blurry square over her butt when she had tried decades to do it?

"Nakie girl, girl, girl, Nakie girl. Nakie girl, girl, girl, Nakie girl." Her mother chanted as Shego hopped, shook, and waved around in circles in time to the "music".

"Nakie girl, girl, girl, Nakie girl! Nakie girl, girl, girl, Nakie girl!" Shego started chanting along, dancing enthusiastically, not knowing that it was wrong to dance around naked. The age of innocence, where had it gone? Suddenly, Shego's father scooped her up in a towel.

"Daddy, she was dancing." Mommy cooed, showing Shego's upset father and his daughter's outrage.

"Yeah, Daddy. I was dancin'." Shego pouted.

"No daughter of mine's growing up to be a stripper!" He proclaimed, drying Shego's raven hair.

"What's a stipper?" She asked.

"Nothing, just go get your clothes on." Shego wriggled from his grasp, racing down the hall blurry square and all.

"You take the fun out of everything." Her mother teased.

"And you put it back in ten times worse." Shego's father reached over and shut off the video camera. The screen went blank and all eyes were on Shego, who had by this time been reduced to a lump on the ground. Mischief doubled over, a loud blast in the silence. Shego made sure that a green fireball would shut her up.

"This opens so many opportunities and so many questions." Metaphor said.

"Who's Aqua Lass?" Golden Arrow looked at Shego as though the answers were written on her face.

"You don't want to know, trust me."

"Wow, I never had a Nakie Girl dance."

"Listen, Kimmi. You can go home alive or I could deliver your dead carcass through FedEx."

"I don't think you could."

"You'd be surprised." But in the midst of Shego and Kim's argument, the screen flashed back on another image of Shego. They all turned around, not expecting there to be more.

An unsteady hand showed a scene with a boy dressed in long brown rags and another person with black clothing (including a cape) and a Darth Vader Voice Changer helmet. Two toddlers off to one side started trying to play the Star Wars theme music on their cheap kazoos. A bush rattled, signaling yet another person.

"Luke…" The person in black breathed deeply.

"…do you want fries with that?" The boy in brown started laughing.

"That's not in the movie!" He said.

"I know, but if this whole ruler of the universe thing doesn't work out I need a backup."

"Okay, this time it's for real." The boy walked off camera and then came back on.

"Recreation of Star Wars; take two. Action!" Kim caught War Hawk's voice behind the camera.

"I'm ready to defeat you, Darth Vader!" The boy pulled out a green toy light-saber and pressed the sound button.

"Luke, come to the dark side. I'll give you candy." The boy bit his lip, trying hard not to laugh.

"Never!" He shouted dramatically.

"Fine, but you'll be the cause of our family breaking up!" Darth Vader pulled out a green light-saber.

"Wait this one's Yoda's. Yoda!" Darth Vader tossed it to a hand that snaked out of the bush. Darth Vader pulled out a red light-saber and activated the sound.

"Much better." Darth Vader mumbled. They began fighting though it was really fake-looking.

"You broke up our family! When Mom died, you sent my sister to a different planet. I don't even know what she looks like!" Luke had Darth Vader on the ground, his light-saber inches from Vader's helmet.

"Luke, in that case I have very bad news for you. I am your sister!"

"Nuh-uh, you're totally my father…" Luke flipped the helmet off.

"Oh my gosh, it's my long-lost sister!"

"Your long-lost TWIN sister! Imagine that!"

"Shego, you're not my twin. The Ewoks over there are twins." The kazoo-playing boys giggled.

"Hego you do not get role play. Leia and Luke are twins in the movie. I know we're not twins."

"Oh right. Then where's our father?"

"Getting groceries."

"No, Darth Vader."

'Um, he got killed by the emperor?"

"Works for me." Suddenly, the final boy came out of the bushes and jumped on top of "Darth Vader".

"Mego, get off!" Darth Vader grunted.

"Yoda, I am. Mego, I have never heard of."

"I'm supposed to beat up Shego, Leia, Darth Vader. Whoever the heck she is."

"Daddy, who is your? Your daddy, I am! Your daddy, I am!"

"Yoda doesn't _always_ speak backwards." Shego got herself away from her brothers.

"Wait, Yoda's supposed to be our dad? I thought, never mind." Hego shook his head.

"Steal the spotlight, I shall. Steal the movie, Yoda does." Mego spun his light-saber around wildly, hitting one of the Ewoks in the head.

"Better stop the idiot-cy right now. This movie is Rated SBR, for stupid beyond repair. Coming out the year Hego has his wedding reception." There was giggling from War Hawk and then she turned it off. Shego rushed to the VCR and ejected the home video.

"I believe that was your turn." Drakken smirked at Shego.

"One clip per turn." Killigan spoke up. Shego looked at War Hawk.

"But I didn't know…I mean…argh!" Shego stared at the ground, defeated. Drakken slapped high fives with all of the boys.

"Doesn't really matter, because the girls won." Artica pointed out.

"How? The Nakie Girl Dance was way better than being knocked over by some confused Pixie Scouts!"

"I said, and I quote, "whoever has the most embarrassing tapes win". I didn't say if it was based on quality or quantity. With a four to two victory, Shego wins." It was the girl's turn to cheer as the loop hole formed.

"But we had equal turns…and I didn't know…and…but…YOU CHEATED! YOU CHEATED!"

"How is it cheating if we don't tell you the rules and you don't get it until halfway through the game?" Shego pointed out, savoring Drakken's confused/infuriated look. Dementor looked where War Hawk had slid the quarter determining who would go first. He examined it, flipping it over and over in his palm.

"It's a two-tailed quarter." He said, showing it to everyone.

"You made sure Drakken would go first so he wouldn't get it until much farther in the game." Shego and War Hawk exchanged glances.

"I still don't consider that cheating. Just a clever trick." Drakken glared at Shego, bruised ego and all. She had beaten him…again. No matter what he did, Shego did it five times better. Plus, why did she still want the buffoon other than to torment him?

"What about us?" Mischief pouted, sounding like Donald Duck.

"What do you mean?"

"Hello, so far only you and Drakken have been duking it out with Blackmail. And you haven't even been using traditional rules." Metaphor pointed out. Shego's grin almost covered her face.

"We'll have to use our own tapes, since the guys have no clue what they're doing." Artica decided.

"So, who's going first?" No one answered at first. But then, War Hawk made her move towards the VCR. She put in her tape, after tossing Shego back hers.

The camera showed just Shego, sitting down drinking a beverage.

"Do you ever turn that camera off?" Shego asked the camera person.

"Every moment is precious, especially on tape." War Hawk replied, again behind the camera. She wheeled the camera up to show Golden Arrow walking towards them. Her sweatshirt tied around her waist and it seemed as though she was trying to hide something.

"Yo." Shego greeted.

"Shego, you're my best friend, right?"

"And War Hawk." Shego pointed to the camera.

"Who needs to get a life beyond making ours miserable on camera." Golden Arrow turned back to Shego.

"And best friend do whatever they can to help one another, right?"

"I don't know where this is going, but I already think you've got the wrong girl."

"Anyway, if a friend, oh say wet her pants; you'd help her out, wouldn't you?"

"Is this hypothetical?"

"No, this is actually literal." Golden Arrow unfolded her sweatshirt, showing a big wet spot.

"Who were you sitting by?"

"Does it really matter?"

"It does if you want dry undies." Golden Arrow sighed.

"Hego, okay just give me the pants so I can change."

"Maybe the new haunted roller coaster is scarier than we thought." Shego pulled out fresh pants from her bag. Golden Arrow took them and marched away.

"Shego wonders why we bring extra pants. Shego's question has now been answered."

"Be careful, they're mine!" Shego called after Golden Arrow blowing off War Hawk.

"I am shutting this off now since no one cares about me anymore." Indeed, the camera turned off and the screen went blank.

"I say we do no-dares Blackmail." War Hawk popped out the tape.

"I agree. Who's next?" Killigan stepped up to the VCR and shoved his tape in.

"It takes a real man to do this." He muttered.

Little Duff stood in the middle of the field, not looking much like a wide receiver. His helmet was too big and his shoulder pads kept slipping.

"That's my boy." A male voice came from behind the camera. He ran a little, but suddenly stopped and waved, seeing his parents in the bleachers.

"Hi, Terry." A woman, most likely his mother, waved at Duff. He waved back, right before all of the opposing team dog piled on him.

"Ouch!" The man seemed to wince. The tape was cut short. Duff, or should we say Terry, retrieved his tape and sat down.

"Your name's Terry? Isn't that a girl's name?" Drakken turned to Killigan.

"It can go either way, Drew." Duff growled.

"No wonder he calls himself Duff Killigan." Shego said. Kim was halfway to the VCR before anyone noticed she was up there.

"You have Blackmail?" Shego asked. Kim nodded.

"And it's about you." The tape played.

It looked pretty typical. Shego was sitting on the couch mindlessly flipping channels. She would pause for a few seconds, flip, watch for a few more seconds…stop. She set down the remote and intently watched, fascinated by something. Soon, the Barney theme song played almost torturingly.

"Wow, this is one of the old ones. Without the squirrel and bird things." She mumbled. And then, catching everyone off-guard, Shego opened her mouth and…

"I love you, you love me. We're a great big family. With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you. Won't you say you love me, too?" Shego sang along with the purple dinosaur absent-mindedly. Shego ran to the VCR and ejected it. As soon as that was done, she smashed the tape until it was reduced to a small pile of rubble.

"Oh…my…gosh." Drakken's mouth hung open like a Venus fly trap.

"I had no idea…" Kim managed to stop herself from laughing. This was brilliant! She knew that tapping into Drakken's security cameras was a good idea, even though it felt invasive at the time.

"Kimberly Ann Possible! You are as good as six feet under after this sleepover!" Shego's hands burned with flames and Kim was shocked as her full name came out of Shego's mouth.

"You in trouble now!" Mischief mocked Shego with a Spanish accent. So she could blend voices, too? War Hawk and Golden Arrow raced to hold Shego back.

"Calm down, it was just a tape."

"Just a tape." Shego breathed deeply. It made no sense to be angry. Not right now, anyway.

"Who's going next, while we try to calm Shego?" Gemini stood up, though a little intimidated by Shego's outburst. He walked over to the VCR and put his own in. War Hawk and Golden Arrow forced Shego to sit down as the tape unfolded.

The camera showed Gemini in front of the mirror, a towel around his waist and a shower cap on his head. He hummed a little before he started to sing off-key.

"Oh baby, baby. How was I supposed to know, that something wasn't right? Oh baby, baby. I shouldn't have let you gooooo. And now that you're out of sight, yeah. Show me how you want it to be. Show me baby, 'cause I need to know now what we've got. My loneliness is killing me." And, of course, Gemini had to sing the background singer's part with a voice that could break glass.

"And I, I must confess. I still believe, still believe. When I'm not with you I loose my mind, give me a sign! Hit me baby one more time!" Gemini danced a little before the camera woman just had to ask…

"Sheldon, what are you doing?" He jumped up in the air as he faced her, his towel nearly dropping.

"Singing Britney Spears, do you mind?" Gemini ripped off the shower cap.

"You hate Britney Spears."

"Maybe if you wouldn't play her non-stop, Betty, I wouldn't be singing her song."

"You like her, don't you?"

"I'm a grown man; I do not like Britney Spears."

"Do too."

"Do not."

'Do too."

"Do not."

"Do too, infinity."

"Whatever!" Gemini slammed the door on her.

"Do the world a favor and get dressed." The tape ended abruptly.

"It's okay to admit it, dude." Motor Ed patted Gemini comfortingly on the back.

"I don't like her, okay?"

"Did that make you feel better, Shego?" Golden Arrow asked her. She nodded her head.

"Can you play nicely with the other girls now?" Shego shook her head.

"Nice isn't in my vocabulary."

"Oh yeah, I forgot."

"Let's do one more tape and call it a game." The others agreed.

"I'll do it." Shego stood up and grabbed one. It was her absolute favorite.

"This person is not here hopefully but I just love this." Shego put in the final tape of the night.

It showed Shego herself standing outside of the door, looking in.

"Are you ready for some wild adventures?" She pulled an Australian accent off.

"Right here, in this room, is a wild tigress. She is, nor ever will be, tame so watch you fingers." The camera swooped into the room with the hybrid Tigress herself in it. He leg stood erect with her face turned away. Aggressively, Tigress licked the inside of her right thigh.

"For years, cats have been known to clean themselves using their sandpaper-y tongues. This is a perfect example of one such activity. Cats have also been known to clean their butts, go over, and lick someone. Watch as she attacks an evil spot of dirt with her canines." Tigress had seemed to find a spot of dirt and was nibbling at it. The camera turned back to just Shego.

"And so, we leave Tigress to bathe her privates in peace."

"Two things; one, it's her inner thigh not her butt." Kim recognized Golden Arrow's voice.

"Two, you have two seconds to apologize." Shego stared at the camera dumbfoundedly.

"What?" Tigress pounced on top of Shego, pinning her on the ground. Shego's hands just barely held the feline's rage away from her face. Gnashing teeth were too close for comfort.

"Oh man! Her breath _is_ butt flavored!" Shego still managed to keep her Australian accent.

"And this is how nature should be. The prey teases the predator, the predator attacks the prey, and the prey gets her butt whupped. This is all for this week, next week we'll be wrestling komodo dragons at the zoo." Golden Arrow closed up and the tape stopped.

She listened from her hideout to them laughing. She had thought it had been ingenious to have girls and boys having a sleepover on the same night. The pranks they pulled were sidesplitting, and they had even played her favorite game. But, this was too far. This was where she drew the line. When they made fun of her and her instincts, they played with a bull by the horns. Or rather, a tiger by her tail.

&&&&&

Well, that was fun. Many times I had to stop and just laugh at the ridiculous things me and Charchee made up. It _was_ her idea to make Drakken not know what Blackmail was. And the jail one was her idea, too. Please do not nitpick. My (nerdy) brother has already made sure to inform me that the Emperor didn't kill Darth Vader. He obviously didn't get that they were just looking for an excuse. I mostly picked up the Star Wars information from the little bit I watched, so don't sue if I got something wrong. And, for the record, I DO NOT WATCH BARNEY NOR WILL I EVER! Sorry, Charchee kept teasing me about that. Please review and leave out the nitpicks. P.S. I know I probably got the Britney Spears song wrong. Sorry about that, too.


	8. Demands

Disclaimer: I own all villainesses except for Shego.

Sorry I haven't updated in a long time, talk about writer's block. Even Carchee's given up on me.

&&&

"So, we've gotten our pride demolished, mainly Drakken's, and the buffoon is still their prisoner. What do we do now?" Monkey Fist asked.

"We surrender, dude. The chicks are totally on fire tonight." Motor Ed shook his head.

"You want to surrender to a group of hormonally-challenged, physically inferior girls?" Dementor challenged. This wasn't going quite as expected, Dr. Drakken thought. The girls were on a roll and the guys, well, weren't. He had to turn this around. He couldn't let Shego hold one more thing over his head.

"The lasses are almost done with their list of demands." Killigan reported from his post. The kitchen light flicked on as Drakken got an idea.

"That's it! We use their list against them!" Everyone turned to stare at him.

"How do we do that? It's their list." Monkey Fist frowned, frankly sick of Drakken's half-baked schemes. Especially one that the girls could easily manipulate.

"We simply make our own list. A list of demands for their demands."

"Sounds complicated." Gemini said.

"Not really. Quickly, pen and paper. We'll get the girls so badly, we'll…really mess with their heads!"

Metaphor retreated back to the girl's side, soda in hand.

"Didn't get the meatloaf, did you?" Mischief teased, her voice sounding too much like Sandy Cheeks from Spongebob Squarepants.

"No, but I think we have something worse than meatloaf on our hands." All eyes turned on her. War Hawk, seeing her opportunity, grabbed the list and added her demand that everyone had turned down.

"The boys are making demands for our demands for Ron."

"That sounds complicated." Kim said.

"Not really. They're just acting like they're smart." Shego relaxed.

"That's what we have to worry about more than meatloaf that makes you crap?" She laughed. Metaphor shrugged.

"At least with the meatloaf we knew what we were doing." They nodded in unison.

"True, but what could the guys possibly come up with?" Artica smirked.

"A lot more than you could, you sissy doll-players!" Ron shouted, standing up for his gender.

"Can someone re-gag him, please?" War Hawk tightened the gag, perhaps a bit more than was necessary.

"If we don't give them any time to come up with a list, how can they beat us?" Shego said slyly.

The girls abandoned Ron.

He himself wasn't smart enough to come up with an escape plan. But loneliness overwhelmed him, watching the girls go confront the guys. Why couldn't at least one stay behind? The one time he was a chick magnet without changing himself…he was competing against them. They were the enemy. But how come he couldn't help loving his enemies?

Claws gripped his sides. It wasn't one of the girls that was for sure.

"Make a sound and I'll kill you." A husky voice grated in his ear. He nodded and easily, it threw him over its shoulder.

Kim! Where was she when he needed her?

&&&

"Time's up, boys. We've got our demands you need to do in order to get Ron back." Shego announced their arrival. She was aware of Golden Arrow's gaze back towards their side. He wasn't going anywhere, she wanted to say. But her affection for him was cute.

"And we've got demands for your demands for the buffoon." Drakken countered, expecting a shocked look on Shego's face. There wasn't. Did anything faze her?

"How many do you have?"

"Five." The girls exchanged glances.

"We only have four." Artica murmured. The boys grinned at each other.

"Then we'll start off." Gemini decided. Drakken cleared his throat and held the paper up like it was a proclamation.

"In return for your first demand, we want…" He paused dramatically, and then dropped his voice to a whisper.

"…the buffoon."

"Gee, we never would have guessed that." Shego rolled her eyes. She looked down at their paper.

"You've got it, but after you promise to do all of our demands."

"Demand 1 has been accepted."

"Wait, that wasn't a demand." War Hawk clarified.

"You were demanding that we promise to do all of your demands. Now, for our next demand, we want you to bow down and admit that we are better than you."

"But that's against my religion." Metaphor spoke up.

"Now you decide to have good moral standards." Monkey Fist said.

"I take my religion very seriously. I just kind of not listen to the stealing part, but the rest I try to follow as closely as I can."

"Fine, then. KNEEL down and admit that we are better than you."

"Wait, wouldn't that be two demands?" Mischief mocked Dr. Drakken. His hands clenched into fists.

"JUST DO IT!" Dementor yelled.

The girls kneeled down like they were about to be knighted.

"Repeat after me, girls." Shego commanded.

"Repeat after me, girls." Mischief mocked her. Shego glared at her, and then turned back to the boys.

"I admit…"

"I admit…"

"…that the boys…"

"…that the boys…"

"…are better than us…"

"…are better than us…"

"…at…"

"…at…"

"…scratching their butts…"

"…scratching their butts…"

"…and…"

"…and…"

"…LOOSING!"

"…LOOSING!"

The girls fell to the floor, laughing and slapping Shego high-fives.

"Ha, ha. My sides are seriously splitting." Motor Ed crossed his arms.

"Okay, okay." Shego said, wiping tears from her eyes. She cleared her throat.

"We want the cleaning solution." She said.

"Well, we don't have it." Drakken stuck out his tongue at her.

"What?" Metaphor's eyes narrowed.

"We hid it." Dementor mocked.

"It's going to cost you another demand to learn its location." Gemini said. The girls exchanged glances.

"Should we do it?"

"I don't know."

"Shego, don't you have extra sleeping bags?"

"Not that many."

"I think we should risk it." Kim spoke up. The girls nodded.

"Risk it." They said in unison.

"Where's it at?" Mischief sounded like a 1930's gangster.

"In one of your sleeping bags." Dementor said menacingly. They hid their surprise.

"Demand 4?" War Hawk asked.

Drakken grinned.

"Shego admits that she was once a superhero." The villain's eyes went wide. Obviously Drakken had kept this demand to himself.

"I was. It's in the past." Shego shrugged it off, but Kim could see her tense muscles, her frown.

The girls looked at each other.

"That was a secret?" War Hawk asked. They shook their heads.

"I thought that was basic knowledge." Golden Arrow said.

"If this means anything, she was a crappy hero. Worse than Ron. I mean, she completely lost her pants and we haven't found them to this day." Artica said. Drakken looked at Shego.

"I thought that was a one-piece suit."

"It is." She sighed.

"Would you want to send your friends to jail?" She asked him.

"No."

"Exactly."

"Yeah, we just hid up in my room pretending to fight when really we were flipping through magazines." War Hawk said.

"We tested weapons on Barbie dolls in the basement." Golden Arrow added.

"We snuck into R-rated movies." Metaphor put in.

"We had air-conditioning wars in the Go Jet." Artica said.

Mischief looked around.

"Am I the only one who really fought her?" She asked, sounding like Reba McEntire.

"I couldn't mess around all the time." Shego said. She turned back to Drakken.

"My jobs were to fly the jet and make sure my brothers didn't die. Besides that, I was free to do whatever I wanted." Shego glanced down at the list and grinned.

"Ah, demand four, the grand finale. Okay, how many of you know how to dance like Napoleon Dynamite?"

Drakken raised his hand. Dementor raised his hand. No one else did.

"Teach the others while we go get the boom box...and the video recorder." She said, pointing towards the other villains.

"NO WAY!" Dementor screeched.

"It's just one more demand." Drakken pleaded.

"I'M NOT DANCING!" Drakken pulled him aside.

"After all we've done, you want to back down?"

"I'M NOT DANCING!"

"How about backup?" He glared at Drakken.

"No." Drakken rolled his eyes. Somehow he'd get him to dance. The bark collar came to mind…

It would be too boring to describe how long it took for the boys to get down the Napoleon Dynamite dance or how long it took for the girls to find the video camera that Drakken had hidden in his shirt drawer. Eventually, the boom box was set up and the boys stood in a line (except for Dementor, who claimed the meatloaf hadn't completely gone through him yet).

"So, what song are we even dancing to?" Gemini asked as Motor Ed practiced his head-banging.

"Oh, you'll hear." Shego said, signaling to Metaphor. Metaphor proceeded to turn on the boom box on full blast.

"This one's for You Tube." War Hawk declared, turning the camera on.

"MA-IA-HIIIIII, MA-IA-HUUU, MA-IA-HAAA, MA-IA-HA-HA!" The Numa Numa song made the boys pause for a minute.

"Dance, monkeys, dance!" Artica laughed.

So, the boys danced like Napoleon Dynamite to the Numa Numa song, not necessarily a new idea, but a funny one nonetheless. War Hawk had to put the camera on a stand so she could laugh as hard as everyone else.

The song eventually ended and the boys instantly stopped except for Motor Ed.

"MA-IA-WHOA! MA-IA-YEAH! MA-IA-AW! MA-IA-AWESOME!" He dropped onto his knees and started doing air guitar and head banging.

War Hawk turned off the video camera.

"Dude, I so need to get that on my IPod! Seriously rockin' stuff, man!" Motor Ed said excitedly. Duff Killigan smacked him in the back of the head.

"Knock it off; we've got our last demand!" He said. Motor Ed shook his head.

"Oh yeah, right, man. Lost myself there for a minute."

The boys gathered over their list. They had wasted a few demands already; they had to make their last one a good one. They pointed, shook their heads, pointed farther down, shook their heads, pointed farther up, yelled at each other, and pointed at the bottom. They nodded their heads and maliciously grinned at Shego.

"Bring down the leader and the rest will come." Kim heard Drakken say. She looked over at their side…and noticed Ron wasn't there.

"Um, Shego?"

"Not now, they've got their demand figured out."

"But…"

"Do the world a favor and shut up." She hissed. Fine, then, Kim thought.

"Shego, why don't you call up your brothers and say you love them?" Drakken said.

Shego cocked an eyebrow.

"You're not serious."

"Oh, but I am." Shego stormed towards the phone.

Exposing the fact she was once a superhero just wasn't bad enough, was it? Now she had to call up her brothers. But she couldn't know this was peeving her. No, that would give him satisfaction he didn't deserve. She grabbed the phone off of the receiver and dialed the number.

Drakken smirked. It looked like Shego was cracking. Not that anyone could tell besides maybe War Hawk or Golden Arrow, but being with Shego for so long had taught him her subtle signals. Like her snapping for no reason. But he wouldn't let her know that. He'd keep that his dirty little secret.

Please don't be there, please don't be there…

"Hello?" Of course, it was Hego.

"Hego, my favorite brother, hi!" Play it up, Shego, rub it in your boss's face. He was not going to bring you down so easily.

"What do you want?" He groaned.

"Just wanted to say I love you." She played with the phone cord.

"For the last time, I'm not bailing you out of jail."

"I'm not in jail."

"Who peed in your corn flakes?"

"Who peed in YOURS?!" She was getting evil looks. She took a deep breath.

_All of them, _Drakken mouthed.

"Can I talk to Mego and the twins?" She asked.

"What bet did you loose?" He chuckled. She cleared her throat.

"Oh." He recognized their old signal that someone else was listening in. Being sarcastic, understanding a signal, Hego was in rare form today.

"I'll put you on speaker." She heard a click.

"Team Go, assemble!" Shego rolled her eyes. Maybe not.

"We're not Team Go anymore, you blue moron." Mego growled. She heard the twins run in.

"LOVEYOUBYE." Shego lost her nerve and hung up.

"HAPPY?" She yelled. Drakken nodded. Cracked open.

"Wait, we've got another one." War Hawk called, handing the list to Shego.

"We only had four." Shego sighed, but looked down the list.

"Coco Moo? Who put Coco Moo on the demands list?" Everyone looked at each other. They glanced at the list and then looked at War Hawk.

She was calm for a minute, but confessed.

"You're stuck up, Shego, that's all there is to it, not to acknowledge the goodness of Coco Moo!" Shego rolled her eyes.

&&&

"Where's Ron?" Mischief asked, using Golden Arrow's voice.

"Same place Kim probably is." Shego scoffed, now visibly sulking.

War Hawk flicked her wrists. Long purple feathers emerged from her skin and she flew up to the ceiling. She might as well get the sleeping bags down.

No one worried about Kim or Ron for a long time. Until a shrill noise called out from Kim's pants pocket.

"Do, do, do-do. Do, do, do-do." The villainesses froze.

"Do, do, do-do."

"Somebody go get Kim." Golden Arrow stood up, wordlessly volunteering.

The noise continued.

"Turn it off!" Artica shrieked.

"Then the computer nerd will know something's wrong." Shego explained.

"Won't he know something's wrong when no one answers?" War Hawk called, peeling the last sleeping bag slowly off the ceiling, one arm pumping to keep her aloft while the other sprayed the cleaning solution onto the glue.

They sat there a minute, trying to decide. To answer or not to answer, that was the crucial answer.

&&&&&

The next one will be up quicker, though the chapters will probably be shorter from now on. Writer's block is a nightmare… please review.


	9. The Fuzz

Disclaimer: I own all villainesses except for Shego.

I told Carchee I updated. She didn't care. That's how long it's been. Please R&R.

&&&

Kim wandered down the hallways, ticked off. Who was Shego to tell her to shut up? She could say whatever she wanted to say whenever she wanted to say it. She was only trying to help. Now, to find Ron.

She peeked quickly into each door; enough to spot Ron and yet not evade her arch enemies' privacy. In the last room, she heard a voice.

"It's nothing against you personally." It was female. Kim flattened herself so she could see what was going on but they couldn't see her.

Tigress had pulled up a chair to face Ron, her tail flicking from side to side. Ron was tied to the chair with curtains she had pulled from the window. Ron didn't look her in the eye, his chin set in anger.

"Then why didn't you kidnap Kim?"

"She wasn't alone like she is now." Tigress's head turned to Kim.

Kim jerked back, but Tigress was quicker. She twisted Kim's arm behind her back before she could blink and forced her into the room, locking it behind them. Kim darted towards her, but a scratch from Tigress's claw sent her reeling back.

"I can't have you running out there to answer your Kimmunicator, now can I?" She purred.

&&&

"Hey, Wade. What's up?" Metaphor, as group shape shifter, had been elected to pretend to be Kim. She had it down to the tone of Kim's confident voice, the relaxed posture, the pattern of the pajamas she had been wearing.

This preciseness wasn't a surprise to anyone. Mystique herself couldn't get down a person's demeanor, quirks, strengths, and flaws as well as Metaphor could.

"Kim, I've been trying to reach you for the last half hour. My global positioning device says you're inside of Drakken's lair."

"I am." Drakken, as though hearing his name, appeared in the hallway frame. He beckoned Shego with a finger.

She shook her head, motioning towards Metaphor.

"I need to talk to you about the buffoon!" He yelled.

"Was that Drakken?"

"Yeah." Metaphor shot Shego a _help me_ look.

Shego looked between her and Drakken. With a helpless shrug to Metaphor, she walked towards Drakken.

"Where is he?!" Drakken thundered, storming towards Shego.

"Well…we've seem to have, um… misplaced him." Shego worded carefully.

"How could you loose the buffoon?!"

"We didn't loose him; he's just probably off with Kim somewhere making out!"

"Shego, I'm right here!" Metaphor reminded Shego. Shego, however, was too distracted with stalling to understand the hint.

"Metaphor, I'm busy!" Metaphor's eyes went wide. Wade's went wider.

"I'm going to have to call you back." She hung up and sprinted, Kimmunicator in hand.

"SHEGO, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?"

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?"

"YOU BLEW OUR COVER!" Drakken looked curiously at Metaphor, still in Kim's form.

"What cover?"

"The computer geek's been calling for a half-hour and neither Kim nor the buffoon have come back from wherever they are." Shego snapped.

"So you tried to convince the computer geek that everything was all right by having the shape shifter pretend to be Kim?"

"Yes, is that so hard for your pea-sized brain to comprehend?! It would've worked if _you _hadn't have come in here asking where the buffoon went!"

"So you're blaming me for loosing Kim Possible and the buffoon?"

"I'M BLAMING YOU FOR THE FACT THE POLICE ARE PROBABLY BEING CONTACTED AS WE SPEAK!" The lair went silent. Shego looked around. Villains and villainesses' eyes alike were wide with fear.

"You mean the fuzz are coming?" Motor Ed asked.

"You mean the fuzz are coming?" Mischief mocked him.

"We didn't do anything wrong. This time." War Hawk said.

"We've got two teenagers running around in the lair of two villains wanted in all 51 states."

"Drakken, there's only 50 states in the U.S." Gemini pointed out.

"I was counting Puerto Rico!" He took a deep breath, turning to Shego.

"Girls take second floor…?"

"…boys take first floor." They nodded and the two groups spread out.

&&&

Kim relaxed. Nothing was happening. Nothing had been happening for a long time. If something was going to happen, it would've happened by now, right? She reasoned.

"Is she asleep?" Ron asked, jerking his head towards Tigress. Tigress's head was resting comfortably on the back of her chair, her arms comforting it. Her breathing was slow.

Kim untied the curtains. They landed softly to the ground. She crept towards the door and eased the doorknob.

"It's locked from the outside." Kim's head jerked to Tigress, who hadn't moved.

"How stupid do you think I am?" She muttered, flicking her tail irritably. Kim went back to her chair.

Shego probably hadn't even noticed they went missing, Kim thought bitterly.

&&&

"Look for the girl with the broken smile, ask if she wants to stay awhile. And she will be loved, and she will be loved." Golden Arrow sang under her breath, testing each door as she passed by. They swung into dark empty rooms.

She gave a small sigh, wondering if any of the other girls had found them yet. A small lair would do nicely, but no, they had to get the biggest they could afford. She came to the end of the hallway and jiggled the doorknob…it didn't move. She squinted at it. It was locked from the outside. She turned the lock…

As soon as that was done, the door flew open. Golden Arrow flew back, pressing herself against the wall.

"Who's out there?" Tigress called. Golden Arrow stopped breathing, feeling her heart beat was enough to bring attention to herself.

If Tigress caught her… she didn't want to think about that. Tigress scented the air, glancing around for the longest time and finally closed it. Golden Arrow took off, knowing her best chance would be to get the Kimmunicator from Shego, give it to Kim, wait she wasn't even sure if Kim was in-

Golden Arrow was shoved inside of a closet. She stood only to have it closed in her face and locked.

"Show you to stick your nose into my business." Tigress hissed.

&&&

Ron looked up as Tigress came back into the room.

"Where's Possible?"

"Where's who?"

"Possible."

"What's possible?"

"Kim."

"Kim who?"

"Kim Possible."

"What are we talking about?" Tigress let out a lion-like roar. Ron shrunk some in his seat.

"Just tell me where the redhead went!" Ron jerked his thumb out the window.

"She saw her chance." Tigress thought this over for a minute.

Where was Rufus when they needed a good distraction?

"Should I believe you?" She looked at him a long time, and then shrugged.

"You are a dumb blonde." She walked out of the room.

Wait a minute… He couldn't remember if he told Tigress the truth or not. Better go ask Kim to get the story right. He raced down the hall, and then heard footsteps behind him. He looked back.

Tigress shoved him into a closet.

"What the-?"

"Dumb blonde." He heard Tigress laugh and the closet door lock behind him.

At least his landing was soft, he thought, wondering how loud he'd have to yell and how long until someone would get him out.

"I think Tigress is having a thing with blondes and locking them in closets tonight." Ron looked down.

He was sitting on top of Golden Arrow. How incredibly awkward.

&&&

"Head count!" Shego yelled. The villainesses gathered.

Artica, Metaphor, War Hawk, Mischief, herself…

"We're missing Golden Arrow." Artica said.

"Great." Shego leaned over the railing.

"WE'RE MISSING ANOTHER ONE!"

"WE FOUND ONE!" Was the response. The girls pounded down the stairs and into their room.

The villains were all gathered with Kim talking to Drakken.

"Where's Ron?" Shego asked, trying not to look like she really cared about Kim showing up.

"Still back in the room, I think."

"Did you see Golden Arrow?" War Hawk asked. Kim nodded.

"She distracted Tigress while I jumped out the window." Kim said. Shego rolled her eyes.

"What's Tigress doing here? She's supposed to be in Paris." Metaphor asked.

"I don't know, but she didn't want me to answer the Kimmunicator." The villainesses' eyes widened.

"Because she knew if one of us answered it, they would think you were in trouble. Brilliant yet elementary!" Mischief sounded like Sherlock Holmes, smoking on an invisible pipe.

Shego darted up the stairs.

"It would freeze the sun if SHE wasn't invited to ONE sleepover!" She yelled.

"Someone's ticked because her sleepover isn't perfect…" Drakken murmured.

A knock at the door made them stiffen.

"OPEN UP! IT'S THE POLICE!" The villains stiffened.

"Mischief?"

"It isn't me." Her voice sounded like a scared little girl's.

There was a groan and then a slam as the door was knocked off its hinges. A group of uniforms, helmets, nightsticks and shields.

"I know she's a hero, but was it necessary to call in the S.W.A.T. team?" Metaphor muttered.

The girls glanced down at themselves and blushed, moving shyly behind the boys. No self-respecting woman would want to be seen by a squad in ducky pajamas, or monkeys, or just plain pink. The boys, however, felt no shame. The cops were lucky to see them with their shirts on.

"WHERE IS MISS POSSIBLE?" They shouted.

"THERE IS NO NEED FOR YELLING!" Dementor yelled. Kim stepped forward.

"I'm fine, guys, false alarm." She put up her hands.

"WHERE IS THE BLONDE BOY?!" They asked instead.

"He's upstairs. I repeat, everything's okay." She motioned to the villains.

"If this was a kidnapping, they wouldn't be in their pajamas."

"WE KNOW YOU ARE SAYING THIS AGAINST YOUR WILL." The supposed leader turned to the squad.

"PLAN OMEGA ON THREE! ONE!" Kim backed up.

"Get back." She murmured, herding the girls to the sleeping bags.

"TWO!"

"Get down." The girls dropped into a crouch.

"Why are we-" War Hawk began.

"THREE!" The squad charged in.

"Get the pillows!" Kim yelled.

Nightsticks were exchanged for standard issue military pillows. The boys fell back screaming as they were hit upside the head.

"RETREAT!" Drakken signaled the boys.

"CHARGE!" Kim called to the girls. Mischief pulled something out of her overnight bag.

"And they mocked me when I bought the pillow numchucks…" She said like Zurg.

The battle became chaos, an explosion of war cries and cotton. The officers vastly outnumbered the villains and even if they teamed up to guard each other's backs, they were usually beaten into submission. The boys gave up long before the girls did, unable to get to their side in time to claim their weapons, which were confiscated by the officers.

"Kim, how did you know?" War Hawk managed to ask before she was clobbered. Kim helped her up.

"Ring Kimmunicator. Very handy to clear up sitches." She laughed until a hit to the stomach caused her to fall over.

Angry screaming and yelling brought the pillow fight to a halt. The girls ran into the boy's room. Kim came in just as Tigress and Shego fell over the railing of the second story.

Tigress pinned Shego to the ground as they landed. Shego tore at Tigress, but she refused to release. They hissed angrily at each other and Shego's flames ignited. Tigress didn't let go.

Kim stepped forward, but Metaphor held her back.

"Don't get in the middle of this."

"No one else is volunteering." Kim pushed at Tigress. Tigress looked up at her.

"Knock it off. Shego knew this was going to happen, this is why she didn't invite you."

"Don't you have something better to do than to right all the wrongs of the universe?" Shego growled. Tigress slashed at her pants, causing her to jump back. She raised her hand again to claw Shego's face…

…Motor Ed grabbed her hand.

"Seriously, no one likes a party pooper." He said. Tigress lifted her other hand.

This time, Drakken caught it.

"You're not on the guest list. Get out."

&&&

The lights were out and everyone was in their sleeping bags. Kim stared up at the ceiling, trying to fall asleep. Most were asleep, exhausted by the pillow fight. The police had carted Tigress away and she was probably in a cell somewhere.

"Do you want a pat on the back?" Kim turned. Shego was staring up at the ceiling.

"What do you mean?"

"Isn't that what you want after being so heroic and stopping Tigress?"

"Shego…"

"If I wanted you to intervene, I would've screamed "help"." She hissed, and then took a deep breath.

"You're too proud to ask for help." The words slipped out before Kim could stop them. Shego turned to her and Kim could see the lines Tigress had scratched down her face.

"You never depend on someone else to help you out of a mess you made yourself."

"You're so independent!"

"You're so preachy!" They both groaned and looked back up at the ceiling.

Why Kim Possible and Shego Can't Get Along; An Autobiography by the Latter, Shego thought to herself. I liked her better when Electronique zapped her with that helmet, Kim thought to herself.

&&&

"I spy something gray."

"It's the coat above your head. I spy something brown."

"It's the box of Christmas ornaments behind you. I spy something…"

"Okay, this is just retarded." Ron crossed his arms.

"It's better than just sitting here." Golden Arrow said, leaning against the clothes.

"You would've thought they'd find us by now." Ron said.

&&&

Okay, couple of announcements. First, just to do a little self-advertising, I do have a YouTube account (LilMissPoison). I have two KP videos up, one about Shego and Drakken and one just about Drakken, if you'd like to check it out. Second, I'm going on vacation for three weeks so don't expect a quick update. Please review.


	10. Breakfast

Disclaimer: I own all villainesses except for Shego.

Here we go, the (corny) end, after over a year. Pathetic.

&&&&&

"Ow!" Kim complained as someone kicked her.

"Sorry." Shego, no wait, Mischief said.

The girls sat up, realizing that most of the others were awake. War Hawk groaned, rubbing at her eyes as she sat up.

"I had the dream about marrying Toucan Sam again."

"Where was the honeymoon this time?" Artica asked.

"Runescape."

"Mine was about robbing Krispy Kreme in boxers and a My Little Pony t-shirt." Artica said. There always had to be the underwear dream, Kim thought.

"No dreams." Mischief chirped like Daisy Duck.

They looked around. All of them were awake. All of them, except for Shego. She was moaning softly, rolling around in her sleeping bag.

"Put your pants back on, Drakken, Kim Possible's coming." She murmured. The girls looked at each other in shock, some trying not to laugh.

"She's messing with us." War Hawk said, rolling her eyes. Shego opened one eye.

"Did you have to spoil my fun?" She murmured, stretching her arms out in front of her like a cat.

"What was your real dream?" War Hawk asked.

"Hego and Mego turned really evil, kidnapped me and the twins, and locked us into the boats in It's a Small World. Drakken was a teacher in Charlie Brown and Kim was Superawesomepixiescoutlass, saving every lost liger in the city of Funkytown."

"That is evil. The ride shut down for two hours the one time I went to Disneyland." Metaphor said.

"You really need to get over your fear of It's a Small World." War Hawk kicked out of her sleeping bag.

"Is it just me or are we missing someone?" Metaphor asked.

&&&

"Why didn't you try this before?" Ron asked, watching Golden Arrow straighten the hook on the wire hanger.

"I was hoping someone would notice we're missing."

"But don't you break out of prison?"

"I have other tools for that." She eased the wire into the lock.

"So you don't know what you're doing?"

"I know how to use wire hangers to break into vaults, I just need to reverse the process, I think…" There was a click.

"Thank goodness! No more wire hangers!" Ron exclaimed, pushing his way to freedom…and the bathroom.

&&&

"Guys, where's breakfast?" Shego called, looking into the kitchen and into their room.

"There's no one over there." She said, returning to her side.

All the girls were standing…but they couldn't move their feet.

"What's wrong with you?" Shego asked, and then found her own feet stuck to the ground.

"Like the Gravity Traps I had installed?" Drakken's voice echoed through the intercoms.

"Yes, very nice. Now, let's focus on breakfast."

"I don't remember YOU GIVING US BACK THE BUFFOON!"

"Dementor, get away. This is my microphone!" There were noises of struggling and an "OW!".

"You want breakfast? Here it comes!" With that, the ceiling opened up. Shego's eyes widened as she saw a thick brown liquid drip through the crack.

The girls screamed as thousands of gallons of Mrs. Butterworth's finest was dropped on top of their heads. They looked at each other and seeing how much damage the syrup was doing to them, screamed even harder. Cannons poked out of the wall and pancake/biscuit bits were pelted at them.

Kim started laughing and eating herself. Thank goodness villains were too stupid to put this much effort into taking over the world or teaming up. She opened her mouth and started trying to catch the food in her mouth. Mischief, watching her, joined in. Then War Hawk. Then Metaphor. Then Artica. Shego, however, just balled her hands into fists.

"Drat. They're enjoying it." Drakken turned to the villains. They were in a control booth watching the cameras, far away from the food fight.

"Oh, the secret weapon will change that." Monkey Fist said, swinging over to the control panel.

"You keep yabbering about this secret weapon. What exactly is it?" Duff Killigan asked. Monkey Fist pressed down on a small blue button.

"You'll see in three, two, one…"

The ceiling panels flipped over. The girls watched as they paused and then opened again. Egg yolks splatted on them, followed by rotten eggs, raw minced sausage, pancake batter, bacon fat, and hash browns.

This was met with silence. Silence until one definitive war cry could be heard.

"DRRRRRAAAAAAKKKKKKKKEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Drakken's eyes went wide.

"I don't mean to be rude, but perhaps we should be going." Monkey Fist implied. Drakken sighed.

"Please come to my memorial ceremony; Shego's not going to leave anything but ashes once she's through with me. I don't expect a big turnout, but you guys are my friends, right? Thick and thin, you'll stay by my side so I can lean on you when I'm not strong enough. Maybe I can survive, if you guys could help me out. How about it? Guys?" He turned around to see only Motor Ed still with him.

"So, blood is thicker than friendship. At least I can count on you, Cousin Eddie."

"Actually, I've got some of that glue stuff on my shoe. Can you get me that other stuff to get the stuff off, seriously please?" Drakken let out a long, depressed sigh.

Meanwhile, Golden Arrow and Ron were watching the girls get breakfast dropped on them. Golden Arrow laughed.

"I love karma." She said.

"And I love not being a girl!" Ron cheered.

&&&

"Bye, Kim. Bye, Ron. Have a safe trip home." Shego said blandly, her and Drakken sitting on a log that had washed up on the island lair's rocky beach.

"Thanks for inviting us. Despite everything, I had a great time." Kim said. She was nice and clean in her clothes.

Unfortunately, being the polite hostess Shego was, she had let all of her guests take showers before they left and personally apologized/escorted her guests out of the messy lair. She hadn't taken a shower yet, smelled of rotten egg, was hungry but was too nauseated by the rotten egg to each, and was hopelessly humiliated. On the bright side, she could probably force the henchmen to clean up the living room.

"I had a bondiggity time, Dr. D! We so have to do it again!" Ron called.

"Oh, we will, buffoon-of-whose-name-I-never-can-remember! And next time, we'll do facials instead of manicures!" Dr. Drakken waved goodbye eagerly.

As soon as Kim and Ron were out of sight, he slumped over.

"Are these things always so energy-draining?" He asked Shego.

"Try planning a double-nighter." She muttered.

Drakken looked out over the water.

"You can always take knowledge away from any experience. So, what knowledge do we take away from this?" Shego glared at him.

"Drakken, I'm covered in breakfast. The last thing I ate was bugs. I have claw marks in places you don't want to know about. I don't want to think that I learned something when I'm this low; I'd rather hear that you learned something."

"Oh, I did. I learned that meatloaf isn't always safe, you should never videotape any of your activities in case it falls into the wrong hands, and even if they are going to poop the party, you always invite the party pooper." Drakken took a breath.

"I believe it's safe to say the moral of this story is that coed sleepovers are a very bad idea."

"Though I don't believe in morals, that is more than safe to say."

**THE END**


End file.
